comedy video

Almost 13 Reasons Why…(I hope you check out the latest from Black Girl in a Big Dress)
Yup! This is totally (in part) one of those hey-I-did-a-hing-and-maybe-you-can-check-out-my-Indiegogo-please things! But I promise you it’s a good one!
Here’s what’s so great about Black Girl in a Big Dress, Season Two!
Proven Entity
We released Season One last fall to great success! 

Since then, we have grown our facebook group to almost 50K members, racked up more than 2 million views, and were nominated for a Webby Award. It’s been an amazing ride and I’m so proud of the work! 
 
When you join Team BGBD, you join a focused, successful group of professionals committed to continuing to make the great work that they are accustomed to making.

Black Girl in a Big Dress is also beginning her festival run next month at The International Black Film Festival in Nashville, and the Urban Mediamakers Film Festival in Atlanta! 

 
It’s Funny!
If you haven’t seen an episode yet, please check them out!
Our Perks are Great Way to Promo Your Projects
The BGBD community is large, growing every day, active, and they love finding new creators to get behind. By joining Team BGBD, you not only get the initial Social Media Shoutout, but we make it a point to support our fam with regular interactions that will help you grow your audience! Let’s help each other!!
It’s Not Just About Us
 
A portion of everything raised through this Indiegogo will be given to DonorsChoose.org, a great tool that allows the public to support teachers by helping them purchase needed items for their classrooms.
Life at home was challenging for me as a kid, and school was my safe haven. It was thanks to some amazing teachers that I found my creative voice–and the strength to pursue it–and I’m excited about being able to honour that in this way.
Great Community – Making Webseries Great Again
One of the things that I love most about the BGBD community is that it’s so big and has created room for everyone.
Like a lot of us, I’ve been pretty disillusioned with the state of affairs since November 2016 and I’ve definitely pushed some people away because of how different our political views are. It’s just too much sometimes.
Flash forward to November 2017 when I learned that a lot of people who voted for Trump also really like Jane Austen-style stories. Because of their support, I’ve been able to have conversations I never thought I’d have with people I would have assumed I had absolutely nothing in common with. It’s been a real growing experience for me and I’m so proud of BGBD for being able to appeal to so many people.
I figure if people on opposite sides of the ever-widening aisle can bond over crumpets and corsets, then there is some hope for us. I’m excited to connect with more and more people and I’m so excited that art can make that happen.
Diversity That’s Truly Diverse
There’s this really interesting thing that’s happening in the industry right now. On one hand, yes, I’m definitely hearing from more executives who are actively and specifically looking for writers of color to come on to their shows. On the other hand, when I turn up for these meetings, they often says things like “So, we’re doing an urban re-make of XYZ.” Or “We’re looking for the next Lena Waithe.” or “Tell us about growing up in the inner city.“
While urban remakes are totally fine and Lena is an amazing talent and powerhouse, the black experience is just as wide and diverse as everyone else’s. That’s why I love this comment that someone left on BGBD’s youtube page:
I love that BGBD expresses more of the amazing variety of experiences that we all have to share!!
Woman-Led, Woman-Centric (and more about being truly diverse)
 
Another experience I’m having in good ol’ H-Town (No one calls Hollywood “Good Ol’ H-Town” do they? Well, they should!) is that yes, people want more and more stories about women, but similar to the race issue, there’s a feeling that the type of stories they’re looking for are rather particular.
I get a lot of requests for my female characters to be hyper dysfunctional, totally crass, etc. A lot of “Wouldn’t it be great if she was a sex addict–totally not one of those girls who’s trying to get married.” or “She should be totally just one of the guys, like we shouldn’t even know that she’s a woman per se.“
Again, all that is super fine and I definitely like some shows with ladies like this in them. But I love being a little romantic, uncynical, and more playful than promiscuous. I love that the Black Girl in her Big Dress is truly feminist: She’s being herself, supporting her friends, and giving other women the space to be who they are–even if they’re not exactly like her.
Our team is also female-led, which is amazing to see. Myself, the directors, this season’s Editor, many of our sound mixers, some of our camera crew, hair and makeup, and the consultants working with me to get the clothes and period particulars correct are all women. And we’re a super diverse bunch of women who come from all backgrounds, races, sexualities, marital and kid statuses, and I LOVE having them all in the family.
Werk and Work
One of my big goals with my projects is to never do the Copy/Credit/Meals form of payment again. I want to honour the work, passion, and expertise that everyone is bringing to the table with money. I want my people to get paid.
Having worked on the studio side of things for 16 years, I’ve seen how hard it can be to hire someone if they exhibit the excitement to do the job, but don’t have gigs on their resume to show that they can. This goes double and triple for trying to hire people from underrepresented groups. I’ve definitely sat across from candidates who I KNOW can do the job, but they don’t have the on-paper cred that I can use to justify them to my bosses.
By paying my crew fairly, I hope to be able to give up-and-comers the opportunity to work more, and not have to turn down projects they’re passionate about in favour of less fulfilling work that at least comes with cash.
Did I Mention It’s Funny?
So much love and passion has gone into Black Girl in a Big Dress and based on the community feedback, I think it shows! We’d love love love for you to join the family. If you have a moment, please click the link below and see what works for you.
Other Ways to Help
If contributing isn’t for you just now, that’s totally ok!! Here are some other ways you can help us reach our goals:
Share this email with 1 or 2 people who share these values/hopes/dreams
Join us on YouTube and leave a comment there and share one of the videos.
Thank you!
Thank you thank you thank you for reading and considering Black Girl in a Big Dress!! Please let me know if you have any questions!

#FBF – Black Girl in a Big Dress

#FBF to a year ago when we wrapped production on the first season of Black Girl in a Big Dress. It’s been an amazing ride! Thanks to everyone who’s watched, shared, liked, commented and pointed out that correct, those are in fact, not bourbon cremes. Here’s to getting the right biscuits in Season Two!

If you haven’t seen the show, check out all 8 episodes of Season One below!!

 

For more Black Girl in a Big Dress:
Subscribe on YouTube
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And Insta on Instagram!

 

 

What Not To Say When Everyone In The Room Shouts The N Word, Then Suddenly Realizes You’re Also In The Room

Zumba. I love it. Especially on nights like last night.

Zumba is actually tricky for an Oreo. During the dance-style group exercise class, some of the moves can come dangerously close to looking like popping and/or locking. So as a good Oreo, I always try to stiffen up a little on some of the hippier moves so as not to frighten the other dancers or myself.

What I feel like when I work out

And then tonight, something wonderful happened. I don’t know what the song was (Sondheim didn’t write it, so I was at a loss), but everyone else in the room did. As we danced, they sang along and sang along and sang along and then everyone sang the n-word. In unison. Without missing a beat.

I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Usually, when there’s an RBP in the room, people would shy away from one of the most offensive words in the English language. They’d think twice about loudly shouting a word that has probably gotten people killed.( At the very least, it’s gotten people into debates on Oprah’s couch–which for an Oreo might be a scarier place than the business end of a revolver.) Normally, if an RBP was in a room, people would maybe try to be polite — not out of fear of making a faux pas, but mainly out of some regard for public safety.

But not with me there. It was like they didn’t think I was black at all!!

Unfortunately, as quickly as my happiness was upon me, it disappeared. For mere seconds after they said the word, they caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and no one sang along for the rest of class.

What I probably look like when I workout

My apologies, ladies, for sullying last night’s good vibes. I will work on my layback and hopefully blend in much better next time.

Granted, some of the following did go through my head, but thanks to my Oreo training, they stayed inside and my outside voice never took control.

  • Why do you all know this song???!
  • Why did you include this song in your playlist??!
  • Is there a manager I can talk to?
  • What did he say after the n-bomb? I really can’t understand any of these lyrics.
  • Please don’t vote.
  • Don Sterling called, he’d like his favorite word back.
  • I’m concerned you might not have wrapped your heads around some basic points of everyday etiquette
  • This is a radio song, so you’ve said this like…how many time by now? And it hasn’t occurred to you to maybe… not?
  • This is a huge city on the liberal left coast for fuck’s sake! Get your shit together!
  • Oh yeah? We’ll your momma’s so fat, I”m very concerned for her long term  health.
  • You’re right, it is ~just~ a word after all, you stupid whale cunt.
  • Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never— *sobs*
  • Maybe I should just got to bootcamp. There’s not music in bootcamp.

Any of those responses would have seemed really RBP-like. Sure, the growing ulcer in my stomach might one day take over my entire digestion system. But I’ll look darn good while I’m convalescing. Yay, Zumba!

We’ve all been there. Someone has said something horrible and we’ve wanted to respond. But a response only makes people feel as awkward as you do.  And we’re better than that. What do you not say when someone pisses you off? Let us know in the comments.

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For Mor-eo! Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)

Making Friends… Sort of

Not sure that the newest member of my blanchetourage appreciates exactly what he has in this Oreo! (my apologies in advance for what is, apparently, a bootie pop)

Need to grow your blanchetourage (hopefully with better luck than I’m having)? Click here to find out how!

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)

Awkward Holiday Dinner Advice

The holidays are stressful. But those awkward family gatherings can be easily diffused with some pre-scripted Oreotastic responses at the ready.

What are your favorite stories from family gatherings? Let us know in the comments!

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Racist or Just Busy?

Politicians have this way of saying things that to the untrained ear sound “mean” or “racist” or “really really dumb.”

But I don’t think it’s that sinister. What do you think? Check out the video and then let us know in the comments!

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Awkward Questions and Answers About Black Hair (an FAQ)

m

Yesterday was one of those days when I walk into the office and someone says, “Did you… cut? your hair?”

I didn’t cut my hair.

“But it looks…different. What did you do?”

The answer to that question is not simple. Well, technically, it is. The actual answer is “washed it.” But to say that opens up way more questions and I have production reports to print out and copy.

Aww, haven't an allusion to Rob Schneider in forever! Those are still relevant, right?

These questions also present one of the trickiest things about being a dedicated Oreo. No matter how many show-jumping ribbons you’ve won, you are still have to deal with maintaining, and explaining, what’s going on up there.

So I’m devising this FAQ to hand out whenever my hair changes. Feel free to print it out and pin it up on the wall for easy reference. If you are an Oreo yourself, consider these talking points.

Q: So…did you cut your hair?

A: Nope. Oh! Did you see La Traviata this weekend? Just gorgeous!!

Truth be told, I was hoping to see Die Zauberflöte.

Q: Huh. It looks different.

A: It kind of has a mind of its own. And how hot was it Saturday? I could barely enjoy that Farmers’ Market at the Marina. And now my mangoes are totally overripe. It hurts me to squeeze them.

Q: …was that some sort of euphemism?

A: Not at all. I’m just really bummed about how tender my beautiful, gorgeous mangoes are now. I mean, just look at them.

Ah well, when life gives you bad mangoes, grab some vodka and turn that sh*t into a 'tini.

Q: I don’t think that’s appropriate.

A: All right, well, I’m taking them out at lunch if you want to see.

(See what you’ve done? You’ve created a diversion! Congratulations!)

Q: Well, whatever you did to it, your hair looks great.

A: Thank you.

Q: So…what did you do to it?

IF THIS CONVERSATION IS HAPPENING AFTER A RELAXER….

A: I got it done.

Q: Oh… What does that mean?

Here’s where you have a choice. You can either say: “Well, I spent two hours having white goop spread on my scalp to make all those annoying tight little curls go away.” But again, that brings up a lot of technical questions that really take some time to get into and those production reports are not going to print themselves.

A: I just… get it…straightened.

Q: Ohhhh, so your hair isn’t naturally straight?

This is a dumb question. By and large, black people hair is not naturally straight. But it’s one that a lot of people ask. And once it’s asked, the floodgates tend to open. If there’s anyway to stop talking at this point, do it. Fake a seizure, have someone call your cell phone like you’re on an awkward first date, start bleeding.

If you can’t reasonably get out of it, play along. You’re a good Oreo after all and to act embarrassed or self-conscious or irritated that people can’t just leave your hair alone would just make you look all uppity.

A: No, it’s not.

Q: So, if you just grew your hair out, what would happen?

A: It’d just get big.

Q: Like would you have…?

A: An afro, yes.

Q: You know, I kind of think those little afros are cute. Have you ever thought about growing one?

A: Oh god, no.

Q: Really because [random celebrity of color] has one and she looks really cute.

A: Oh really? Well, have you thought about making a bow out of blonde extensions and putting that on top of your head?

Like this.

Q: Um.. no, why?

A: Oh, well Gaga did that at some awards show, so… you know

Note: Don’t do this. Oreos are sweet, kind, accommodating people. We do not make points or draw attention to gaps in logic.

Q: Really because [random celebrity of color] has one and she looks really cute.

A: Huh, I can’t picture him/her right now. S/he wasn’t in Terrence Malik’s latest, right?

Q: Uh… no.

IF THE QUESTIONS DO NOT COME AFTER A RELAXER….

Q: So what did you do? It looks… fluffier?

A: Just regular washing. Eventually, my hair just ‘goes back.’

Q: What does that mean?

A: It just starts to get curly again?

Q: Oh, so your hair’s not naturally straight.

And there you have it. Though sometimes, you’ll get a few other questions.

Q: Can I touch it?

A: Eh, I’m really weird about personal space.

Q: But c’mon, we’re making out. And I’m already touching your pretty pretty face. Can’t I touch your hair, gorgeous?

A: Okay, fine.#blush(ifIcould) #swoon

Q: Have you ever thought about extensions?

A: Every day of my life. Black hair is really difficult, time consuming and expensive to manage. You have to either buy specialty oils to keep a natural ‘do looking good. Or you have to spend hundreds of dollars to get your scalp burned off once every 6-8 weeks. Or you have to spend more hundreds of dollars to have someone else’s hair sewn into your scalp. And also you have to answer questions like these on the regular.

NOTE: Do not say that. Just say yes. Or better yet “mais oui!”

Q: How do you wash it?

A: With a very delicate regime of shampoo, conditioner and water.

Q: Did you see that documentary Chris Rock did, Good Hair? That was really interesting.

A: I’m not really a Chris Rock fan.

Q: No? I think he’s so funny! I love his stand up.

A: I mean, I would turn down a ticket, but I’d rather go see Eddie Izzard.

If you don't get the joke on this button, go Google it right now and watch the brilliance that unfolds before you. Don't worry, we'll be here when you get back.

Q: So what–

A: Agh, I hate to cut you off, but I have got to get these production reports done, put these mangoes in the fridge and find someone to frame this dressage certificate.

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The one good thing about black hair care is that it’s all pretty painful. Relaxers burn like fire, pressing burns with oil that feels like it’s on fire and extensions are woven so tight you get an instant face lift. It’s a little bit of perfectly reasonable self-punishment to bring absolution like fasting or the Silas belt from The Da Vinci Code.

But you do have to choose wisely and pick the pain that’s right for you. Use this primer to weigh the pros and cons and tell us what you think!

And as you know, we love awkward situations here at The Oreo Experience. Whether it’s a a fancy engagement party or during a hike to the Hollywood sign, embarrassing moments are awesome. What are some of your best cringe-worthy stories? Let us know in the comments!

And I’m not saying I didn’t trust you to look up that Eddie Izzard bit. Buuuuut, just in case you didn’t. Voila!

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Karaoke Fai….WIN!

I went to karaoke with a trusted member of my blanchetourage last night (Need a definition of “Blanchetourag”? Click here!). Wednesday nights at Sardos aren’t incredibly busy, so I was excited for the opportunity to sing more than once and to whip out some new showtunes. My friend said we were meeting some people there, and I was excited to meet them, too.

We got to the bar and I almost walked right out. The “people” we were “supposed” to “meet” were both black.

WTF?

Every time you trick an Oreo, a baby loses its wings

He knows me and that per the Oreo code it is so not okay to hang out en masse with other black people.

My friend mentioned that one of the girls was in a recent revival of RENT and my hackles went down a bit. The musical RENT does feature a lot of black people in it, but it’s very theatery and it’s Broadway and OhMyGodAdamPascalTouchedMeEnce!!! so I tossed her some Oreo points and let it go.

Dear Adam, the answer will always be "yes"

Then the other girl suggested the three of us go sing a song together.

What??

We were the only black people in the whole bar. If we went up to sing together, we’d totally really look like really black people. But part of the aforementioned Oreo code involves sticking to a WASPish code of uncomfortable politeness. So I had to say yes.

And I was totally rewarded for my efforts.

I worried we were going to end up singing something ethnic. Whitney Carey or Rhiannan or something like that. But the track started. And it was Hanson! Three black girls pretending to be two white boys and one white girl three white boys! I couldn’t totally get on board with that and I happily MmmBopped along. I also learned that an “MmmBop” was a unit of time.

I also also learned later that “More Than Words” seems to be about a bj. 😦

“…if you only knew how easy
It would be to show me how you feel

More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already know…”

Yeah, that’s not romantic, that’s about a beej.  Wish I had realized that in high school. Prom would have been much much different.

Lots of popular songs are confusing. And that’s one of the reasons I love showtunes, because the song “Popular” is not confusing at all.

What’s your go-to karaoke jam? (are we still saying ‘jam’?) Do you think Adam Pascal would let me More Than Words him? Let us know in the comments!

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For Mor-eo! Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

It Hurts So Good, II

So after my poplock debut this weekend, I had to get back to my Oreo ways and content myself with some anglo-tastic stuff post haste!

To erase any unintended ethnic affect, on Sunday, I  bought some crossstitching, picked up my new guitar to learn some Neutral Milk Hotel and made a Quiche.

Hot.

And between the needlework and my first time playing the guitar, my fingers are killing me!!!  Seriously, I washed my hands this morning and it burned! How long does it take guitar callouses to form?

But good things will come from that pain. And it got me out of thinking of other things that were painful in just the right ways.

Relaxer – It goes without saying that a relaxer is on this list. Sure, the salve that’s spread on my scalp once a month is expensive and burns like a thousand angry suns. But for that pain, I get pretty straight hair to whip back and forth.

Dressage Training – Making a 1400-pound horse dance by controlling it with the muscles at the top of your inner thigh makes it nearly impossible to walk the next day. But if you do well enough and you get to competition, you get to wear such pretty hats!!

He's whipping his hair back and forth, too!

Spin Class – Going spinning immediate after dressage is especially painful…but bathing suit season is only 6 months away. Ladies…am I right!

Blue Valentine – This movie is one of the best I’ve seen. Painful to watch (especially with the $14 Arclight ticket!!) but Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are also beautiful, urgent, truthful and memorable.

Also hot.

That one break up – We all have one. The one that was so spectacularly awful that we were pretty sure we’d never be able to put ourselves back together. But not only did we get back together, all that scar tissue fused strong. Stronger than it was before. We learned more than we could have imagined and made promises to ourselves that this time, we intend on keeping.

*ahem* Now back to your regularly scheduled snark.

Shots – Burning and painful all the way down. But often delicious and always socially freeing! F u, inhibitions! Ladies…am I right?! 🙂

What do you do that’s painful but good for you? Let us know in the comments!!

And check out this vlog that details my journey toward poplock domination.

For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)

Dog Tags

That bone- or heart-shaped piece of metal hanging from your pet’s collar says a lot about you.  Watch this instructional video to make sure that your pet’s name doesn’t besmirch your good Oreo name!