Oreo A – Z

Oreos A – Z: G, H

A little set of rhymes to keep Oreos on their best behaviour.

G is for Gallup
A survey we hate
Why do they look so confused
When we check the box for our race?

Just because we cross out “–ther” and scrawl in “–reo” is no reason for them to get snippy
(source)

H is for Horse
Like you probably thought I would say
Everyone who loves ’em
Throw your hands up and say “HAY!”

Don’t look at me like that, it wasn’t that bad.
Plus you love hay. So whatever.
(source)

 

 

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Oreos A – Z: E is for

A little set of rhymes to keep Oreos on their best behaviour.

E is for Equality
For which Oreos do not fight
We don’t need people to like Blacks
We just really want to be White

Sure it does. If not, I am going to have to re-do like every facebook argument.
(source)

Look, getting everyone to get up to speed on the fact that we all live in one world and we all really need to respect each other is a battle that has been going on since time immemorial. And it is exhausting! Lose historical baggage and get more sleep by simply finding skin bleaching products and people to go to the opera with instead!

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Oreos A- Z: D is for…

We all know the basic concept of the Oreo – someone who’s black on the outside, but white on the inside.  What you may not know is that there really are a lot of intricacies involved in becoming, being and living a fulfilling life as an Oreo. The bi-weekly feature, “Oreos A – Z” will help keep you up to date and on your best Oreo behaviour.

D is for Don Draper
Oreos love Mad Men
Cuz sexy suits, and hot, repressed white dudes
Were so popular back then.

In a fantastic Oreo move, I was recently in a debate, where I was arguing heavily for the fact that Mad Men simply cannot have prominent characters of color on the show. It simply wasn’t done at that time. You know how like in movies set in the present there are no black people in say  New York City.

What say you? Obviously, there are some limitations with period pieces. But why can Shakespeare get away with it?

And Denzel gets the fancy cuffs, too! Much Ado About Nothing? More like Much Ado About Rrrrarrrr!

Why does it make more sense to filmmakers that a black guy can be the politically powerful Don Pedro, but not say a regular Joe in a movie about wizards or vampires or being cursed by an Olson twin to have a creepy tattoo cover your whole face? Do you think non-traditional casting takes from or adds to the cinematic experience? Would Sex in the City have been ruined if one of those girls was brown in some way? Wow, was Sex in the City really my go to film for that question. Weird!

For more Oreo: A-Z Click here!

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Oreos A – Z: C is for…

We all know the basic concept of the Oreo – someone who’s black on the outside, but white on the inside.  What you may not know is that there really are a lot of intricacies involved in becoming, being and living a fulfulling life as an Oreo. The bi-weekly feature, “Oreos A – Z” will help keep you up to date and on your best Oreo behaviour.

C is for Canter
A horse’s third gait
Do you have your tickets for Rolex*?
I know I do, can’t wait!!

*What is Rolex you ask? Only the awesomest 3-day horse ever! Fancy horses sponsored by fancy watches. If that doesn’t say Oreo, I don’t know what does…except maybe this: Totes jeals of Beoyonce and her blackface makeup!! Click here to find out why

Seriously! If anyone has an extra ticket, or just feels like sponsoring an Oreo, you can have my first born.

 

 

Oreos A – Z: B is for ….

We all know the basic concept of the Oreo – someone who’s black on the outside, but white on the inside.  What you may not know is that there really are a lot of intricacies involved in becoming, being and living a fulfulling life as an Oreo. The bi-weekly feature, “Oreos A – Z” will help keep you up to date and on your best Oreo behaviour.

B is for British

B is for British
The accent of choice
An Oreo should always have
A posh lilt in their voice

 To highlight the fact that an Oreo does not speak with an Ebonic dialect, it is imperative to use accents that are as different as possible from those used by RBPs. The accents of Britain are a great place to start! A well-versed Oreo will be able to switch into the various types of British accents on a whim.  These include, but are not limited to: Posh, Londoner, NPR, Dublin, Northern Ireland, Standard Scottish, Southern Scottish, Mid Wales, Cumbrian, Geordie, Cockney Slang, Jasper Carrot and Shropshire.

Using the correct British slang is cute, cheeky and delightfully Oreo, innit tho!

Here is a brief tutorial on how to emulate a brilliant bloke!

Check out this post for more on using the correct lingo, stay caught up on the Oreo A – Z basics and enjoy these conversations with WhitePal where The Oreo Experience tries to figure out what the f he’s saying: Blood on the Toaster, wigger, monkeys.

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For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
And subscribe on youtube! (Check the youtube page for the brand new music video “White (on the inside) Christmas!”
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Oreos A – Z: A is for Afro

We all know the basic concept of the Oreo – someone who’s black on the outside, but white on the inside.  What you may not know is that there really are a lot of intricacies involved in becoming, being and living a fulfilling life as an Oreo. The bi-weekly feature, “Oreos A – Z” will help keep you up to date and on your best Oreo behaviour.

A is for Afro

A is for Afro
Which an Oreo never wears
because how would that look
At this year’s Dickens Fair?!

The Afro is something NEVER to be sported by an Oreo.

If you are of color, an afro symbolizes that you are way too comfortable with your race and that you might be one of those people who also talks about how Cleopatra was really black, how Kwanzaa is legit and how it’s the disparity between the health and wealth of the races indicates that there might be some sort of systemic problem still alive and well in the good old US of A….or it says that you’re too poor to afford a relaxer!

Either way….Awkward!

If you’re white and sport an Afro, it symbolizes that you’re delightfully carefree and/or ironic. You probably drink expensive coffees and shop at stores meant to look like thrift store. How fun!

Suitable hair styles for Oreos include: the simple relaxer, a pixie cut or covered with a bonnet as you are probably on your way to an historic festival, Steampunk convention or Europe in the winter.

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For a run-down of the necessarily painful Oreo hair care procedures, click here!

For why we endure it in the first place, click here!