Oreos A – Z: A is for Afro

We all know the basic concept of the Oreo – someone who’s black on the outside, but white on the inside.  What you may not know is that there really are a lot of intricacies involved in becoming, being and living a fulfilling life as an Oreo. The bi-weekly feature, “Oreos A – Z” will help keep you up to date and on your best Oreo behaviour.

A is for Afro

A is for Afro
Which an Oreo never wears
because how would that look
At this year’s Dickens Fair?!

The Afro is something NEVER to be sported by an Oreo.

If you are of color, an afro symbolizes that you are way too comfortable with your race and that you might be one of those people who also talks about how Cleopatra was really black, how Kwanzaa is legit and how it’s the disparity between the health and wealth of the races indicates that there might be some sort of systemic problem still alive and well in the good old US of A….or it says that you’re too poor to afford a relaxer!

Either way….Awkward!

If you’re white and sport an Afro, it symbolizes that you’re delightfully carefree and/or ironic. You probably drink expensive coffees and shop at stores meant to look like thrift store. How fun!

Suitable hair styles for Oreos include: the simple relaxer, a pixie cut or covered with a bonnet as you are probably on your way to an historic festival, Steampunk convention or Europe in the winter.

*****

For a run-down of the necessarily painful Oreo hair care procedures, click here!

For why we endure it in the first place, click here!

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6 comments

  1. It looks more like self denial to me! Sporting a Afro can be good for your health how many chamicals this relaxing products have that maight hindred your body? Peopel who choose to have natural hair are confortable with there selves.

  2. Really?
    As a kid, all I wanted was an Afro.
    But my dad is Louisiana Creole and my mom is half Mexican/half Native American – my Afro kept falling.
    These days, I just gel and rub.
    I keep a short do so I rarely have to comb it.

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