I apologize. I am abject. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.
I would never have cooked it if a dear friend hadn’t asked. And I would never have eaten it if it wasn’t so amazeballs delicious… I mean… close to my face… I mean …the only way I could have saved those orphans. Yes! That was it! It was the only way! I swear!
I asked myself after eating if I felt more black. I replied to myself that no, I did not. I only felt ashamed…which is basically the same thing.
Sometimes life gets all crazy and super doubly duper busy. And by “life gets all crazy and super doubly duper busy” I mean “you get a little lazy and just wanna watch back to back episodes of Law and Order: SVU, The Voice and Shark Tank instead of connecting with the outside world.”
But admitting that you’re “lazy” and “watching Ice-T on the regular” and “not running out of the room when Cee-Lo can be heard” brings an Oreo dangerously close to sounding like an RBP. So instead of copping to those personal failures, why not use one of these handy excuses instead!
When you find that you’ve neglected your work, friends and email for a while, toss out one of these gems and heads will bob and hands will clutch chests understandingly.