n word

What Not To Say When Everyone In The Room Shouts The N Word, Then Suddenly Realizes You’re Also In The Room

Zumba. I love it. Especially on nights like last night.

Zumba is actually tricky for an Oreo. During the dance-style group exercise class, some of the moves can come dangerously close to looking like popping and/or locking. So as a good Oreo, I always try to stiffen up a little on some of the hippier moves so as not to frighten the other dancers or myself.

What I feel like when I work out

And then tonight, something wonderful happened. I don’t know what the song was (Sondheim didn’t write it, so I was at a loss), but everyone else in the room did. As we danced, they sang along and sang along and sang along and then everyone sang the n-word. In unison. Without missing a beat.

I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Usually, when there’s an RBP in the room, people would shy away from one of the most offensive words in the English language. They’d think twice about loudly shouting a word that has probably gotten people killed.( At the very least, it’s gotten people into debates on Oprah’s couch–which for an Oreo might be a scarier place than the business end of a revolver.) Normally, if an RBP was in a room, people would maybe try to be polite — not out of fear of making a faux pas, but mainly out of some regard for public safety.

But not with me there. It was like they didn’t think I was black at all!!

Unfortunately, as quickly as my happiness was upon me, it disappeared. For mere seconds after they said the word, they caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and no one sang along for the rest of class.

What I probably look like when I workout

My apologies, ladies, for sullying last night’s good vibes. I will work on my layback and hopefully blend in much better next time.

Granted, some of the following did go through my head, but thanks to my Oreo training, they stayed inside and my outside voice never took control.

  • Why do you all know this song???!
  • Why did you include this song in your playlist??!
  • Is there a manager I can talk to?
  • What did he say after the n-bomb? I really can’t understand any of these lyrics.
  • Please don’t vote.
  • Don Sterling called, he’d like his favorite word back.
  • I’m concerned you might not have wrapped your heads around some basic points of everyday etiquette
  • This is a radio song, so you’ve said this like…how many time by now? And it hasn’t occurred to you to maybe… not?
  • This is a huge city on the liberal left coast for fuck’s sake! Get your shit together!
  • Oh yeah? We’ll your momma’s so fat, I”m very concerned for her long term  health.
  • You’re right, it is ~just~ a word after all, you stupid whale cunt.
  • Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never— *sobs*
  • Maybe I should just got to bootcamp. There’s not music in bootcamp.

Any of those responses would have seemed really RBP-like. Sure, the growing ulcer in my stomach might one day take over my entire digestion system. But I’ll look darn good while I’m convalescing. Yay, Zumba!

We’ve all been there. Someone has said something horrible and we’ve wanted to respond. But a response only makes people feel as awkward as you do.  And we’re better than that. What do you not say when someone pisses you off? Let us know in the comments.

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For Mor-eo! Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)

N-Words

Every once in a while, there will be a dilemma in the Oreo lifestyle. That’s right, two lemmas. The n-word in hip hop songs creates two of those said lemmas.

Close enough.

On one hand, any self-respecting Oreo knows zero lyrics to any hip hop song. On the other hand, sometimes, you’ll have the misfortune of knowing what the words are because you are, say at karaoke. When that happens, you’ll sometimes have to choose whether to say or not say the “n-word.”

This brings us to two more lemmas..(lemmae?).

Again. Close enough.

On one hand, the n-word is a horrible, offensive, painful piece of slang that no one should ever say ever.

On the other hand (Yup, I’m quadri-dextrous), no self-respecting Oreo would say the above. It implies that you have a connection to race and thus the sting associated with the speaking, singing or rapping of that word.

So, if you do find yourself having to say the n-word in song, you’ll need to have options. Karaoke is fun, and I’ll admit that even I know all the words to Baby Got Back and Shoop. While neither of those songs uses the word in question to get their very salient points across, it does go to show that anyone can be caught in the middle of some hip hop.

Here are some alternative words that to drop like they’re hot in the middle of a song like Golddigger**:

  • Nibbler
  • Knickerbocker
  • Snicker
  • Nietzsche
  • Nicknack
  • Ninja
  • Knitter
  • Nagging
  • Nephew
  • Narwhal (why doesn’t this word end in an “e”)
  • Mitzvah
  • Nahum (sorry, book of the bible)
  • Nancy
  • Nanpie (they’re black, too)
  • Nacho
  • Nabob (but not the National Association of Black Owned Broadcasters)
  • Narnya (like Narnia, but with two syllables…golly, Lazy Sunday was a great song)
  • Nietzsche
Insert one of the above and wait for the unoffended applause!
I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke ninja
or
I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke Nietzsche
or
I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke Nanpie

See, they all work perfectly!! Perfectly.

Hope this helps with the hip hop hurdles! With this list, you should be able to conquer all lyrical lemmas in record time.

Close enough. A third time.

For more fun with the n-word:
Find out whether or not Huck Finn should have gone unaltered!
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What’s your favorite slang for slang? Let us know in the comments!
And For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!
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**(True story about Golddigger…this conversation did happen when that song came out.

OreoExperience: This is awful of me to say, but I actually kind of like that song Golddigger.

WhitePal: Yeah, I like that the radio censors it like that.

OE: What do you mean?

WP: You know, when they go ‘…but she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke…’

OE: Yeah?

WP: Well, they censored it there.

OE: I don’t get it.

WP: How is that possible?

OE: What could they be censor…ooooohhhhhh! I thought they were being poetic and turning the word “broke” into both an adjective and a noun. That’s why I liked the song…. Why are you walking away??)