Zumba. I love it. Especially on nights like last night.
Zumba is actually tricky for an Oreo. During the dance-style group exercise class, some of the moves can come dangerously close to looking like popping and/or locking. So as a good Oreo, I always try to stiffen up a little on some of the hippier moves so as not to frighten the other dancers or myself.
What I feel like when I work out
And then tonight, something wonderful happened. I don’t know what the song was (Sondheim didn’t write it, so I was at a loss), but everyone else in the room did. As we danced, they sang along and sang along and sang along and then everyone sang the n-word. In unison. Without missing a beat.
I couldn’t have been more thrilled.
Usually, when there’s an RBP in the room, people would shy away from one of the most offensive words in the English language. They’d think twice about loudly shouting a word that has probably gotten people killed.( At the very least, it’s gotten people into debates on Oprah’s couch–which for an Oreo might be a scarier place than the business end of a revolver.) Normally, if an RBP was in a room, people would maybe try to be polite — not out of fear of making a faux pas, but mainly out of some regard for public safety.
But not with me there. It was like they didn’t think I was black at all!!
Unfortunately, as quickly as my happiness was upon me, it disappeared. For mere seconds after they said the word, they caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and no one sang along for the rest of class.
What I probably look like when I workout
My apologies, ladies, for sullying last night’s good vibes. I will work on my layback and hopefully blend in much better next time.
Granted, some of the following did go through my head, but thanks to my Oreo training, they stayed inside and my outside voice never took control.
- Why do you all know this song???!
- Why did you include this song in your playlist??!
- Is there a manager I can talk to?
- What did he say after the n-bomb? I really can’t understand any of these lyrics.
- Please don’t vote.
- Don Sterling called, he’d like his favorite word back.
- I’m concerned you might not have wrapped your heads around some basic points of everyday etiquette
- This is a radio song, so you’ve said this like…how many time by now? And it hasn’t occurred to you to maybe… not?
- This is a huge city on the liberal left coast for fuck’s sake! Get your shit together!
- Oh yeah? We’ll your momma’s so fat, I”m very concerned for her long term health.
- You’re right, it is ~just~ a word after all, you stupid whale cunt.
- Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never— *sobs*
- Maybe I should just got to bootcamp. There’s not music in bootcamp.
Any of those responses would have seemed really RBP-like. Sure, the growing ulcer in my stomach might one day take over my entire digestion system. But I’ll look darn good while I’m convalescing. Yay, Zumba!
We’ve all been there. Someone has said something horrible and we’ve wanted to respond. But a response only makes people feel as awkward as you do. And we’re better than that. What do you not say when someone pisses you off? Let us know in the comments.
So, it’s been the general opinion of this blog, its readers and the movie viewership of America that Tyler Perry is the cheif anti-Oreo. What the spawn of satan will be to the end of days, TPear is to attempts to assimilate. 
the self-loathing evident in his product makes him a prime candidate for Oreodom. 
The fake danger: With half a dozen eyes, a crispy exoskeleton, giant pincers and a tail that means business, scorpions are as terrifying looking as a rerun of Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. But it turns out it’s all looks. These tiny horrors are nearly blind and have only a very mild venom. Getting stung by one is only about as harmful as getting stung by a bee.
Swine flu is not really all that bad. Some experts are saying that it is in fact much less severe than the yearly regular flu outbreaks and the CDC is considering changing the definition of ‘pandemic’ to accommodate the general unseriousness of Swine Flu.
The fake danger:
That’s right, chess fans. What was once seen as a problem move in the trusted Najdorf Variation of the Sicilian Defense, is playable after all. Thank to the continued efforts of the folks at Rybka, there are many solutions this seeming stalemate of a move. Including of course, but not limited to: 10. h6, 11. Bh4 dxe5, 12. fxe5 (alt: 12 wfd7).
The Oreo Experience 