Oreo News and Thanks!

I know my curtsey needs work, but please know I mean it sincerely! For reals, thanks for all the readings and commentings and whatnots. I really appreaciate it!

So in case you’re wondering why the posts have been more sporadic of late, there’s a couple of reasons.

One, there’s a Tennessee Walker riding competition I’m gearing up for.

And two, I’m ending the year by producing “White Christmas”—a parody video of, well… “White Christmas.” The song tells the story of how OreoWriter hopes her holidays are super anglo-tastic!

I definitely would not be on track to make this video were it not for all the readers and emails and comments. I appreciate it so much and am super excited about this project.

We’ve already got an amazing team of backers (thanks to Geoffrey Plitt and Jason Layden for their early support!) and we would love to have all of you on board, too!!

We are doing the bulk of our fund-raising through Kickstarter. With Kickstarter, backers pledge sponsorships amounts, but no one is charged unless the target budget is raised (or surpassed!). We’re already more than halfway there and look forward to hearing form you. You can see our Kickstarter page at:

There are lots of great benefits for backers and investors including personal video messages and lots of promotion for your name or brand. Check out the link and let me know what you think!

We already have a great, creative and successful team and I hope you will join us.

Dr. Laura

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is quitting radio in December after saying the n-word a bunch of times to a caller who was

Talking sense into black people.


Please, oh please, read the transcript here. So worth it.

In the broadcast, a black caller asks if her white husband’s white friends are in the wrong for making racial jokes around her, berating her with stereotypes and sometimes using the n-word.

Here’s are some gems from the conversation.

CALLER: How about the N-word? So, the N-word’s been thrown around —

SCHLESSINGER: Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO, listen to a black comic, and all you hear is nigger, nigger, nigger.

CALLER: That isn’t —

SCHLESSINGER: I don’t get it. If anybody without enough melanin says it, it’s a horrible thing; but when black people say it, it’s affectionate. It’s very confusing. Don’t hang up, I want to talk to you some more. Don’t go away.

I’m Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I’ll be right back.

I must say, I was pretty upset when I read this.

This caller is obviously a fantastic Oreo and she’s not embracing it!!!

First, she married a white guy. Kudos to her for trading allegedly smaller manhood size for definitely bigger circles of social acceptance.

Second, the fact that her husband’s friends use this kind of language around her doesn’t prove that they’re jerks…it proves that they’re comfortable around her! I bet they don’t use those words around RBP (aka The Others) because RBP are scary, will get mad and might cut you if you say such a thing.

But an Oreo, knowing that it’s more important to save face than make a point, will keep quiet and let you ask how she washes her relaxed hair.

Why get mad at Dr. Laura? Some of her best friends are black. Really. She talks about it in the transcript.

SCHLESSINGER: No, no, no. I think that’s — well, listen, without giving much thought, a lot of blacks voted for Obama simply ’cause he was half-black. Didn’t matter what he was gonna do in office, it was a black thing. You gotta know that. That’s not a surprise. Not everything that somebody says — we had friends over the other day; we got about 35 people here — the guys who were gonna start playing basketball. I was going to go out and play basketball. My bodyguard and my dear friend is a black man. And I said, “White men can’t jump; I want you on my team.” That was racist? That was funny.

So if anyone knows what’s appropriate in mixed contexts, it’s L.S.

CALLER: I can’t believe someone like you is on the radio spewing out the “nigger” word, and I hope everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: I didn’t spew out the “nigger” word.

CALLER: You said, “Nigger, nigger, nigger.”

SCHLESSINGER: Right, I said that’s what you hear.

CALLER: Everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: Yes, they did.

CALLER: I hope everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: They did, and I’ll say it again —

CALLER: So what makes it OK for you to say the word?

SCHLESSINGER: — nigger, nigger, nigger is what you hear on HB —

CALLER: So what makes it —

SCHLESSINGER: Why don’t you let me finish a sentence?


What do you think? Should she quit? Or keep working to make more Oreos via the airwaves.

Pretty and of color? You must be a terrorist!

How dare she. How. Very. Dare she!

Here’s what I learned today that is sending me straight to the skin bleaching and hair dye.

If you are a person of color + you win a beauty pageant = The terrorists win.

More than one post went up today saying that  Rima Fakih’s Miss USA win is

a) an example of abusive reverse racism

b) funding terrorism.

Says Debbie Schlussel:

It’s a sad day in America but a very predictable one, given the politically correct, Islamo-pandering climate in which we’re mired.  The Hezbollah-supporting Shi’ite Muslim, Miss Michigan Rima Fakihwhose bid for the pageant was financed by an Islamic terrorist and immigration fraud perpetrator–won the Miss USA contest. I was on top of this story before anyone, telling you about who Fakih is and her extremist and deadly ties.

I normally applaud beauty pageants for their insistence upon an impossible beauty standard. I mean, how am I supposed to hate myself as a non size-0 woman if said women aren’t paraded around in front of me on the regular?

But now I love them even more! Now, more young girls who are off-model from the models in these shows will keep themselves off the runways lest they are accused of being anti-American. And the beauty standard will go unchanged! I have spent too much time getting this hair to lay flat for that to suddenly be okay!

Just like Ramin Setoodeh drove scores of gay actors back into their closets, writers like Schlussel are ensuring that of color beauties think twice before thinking they’re beautiful enough for America’s runways.

What I’m Doing With My Summer Vacay: Hanging out in the AZ!!

Why? Because they’re as freaked out by ethnicity as I am.

Not only are they enacting the law that allows legal Arizonians to be stopped and questioned for being too brown the safety of the state, they also passed a bill that will outlaw ethnic studies in school.

Proponents of the bill say that teaching students about their own culture is something that should not be done at school…unless, you’re part of the culture that is being discussed at school.

Also, according to the Wall Street Journal, (legal, veteran) teachers with accents will be asked to vacate their posts.

So congrats, Arizona. We’re always happen to welcome more Oreos and Coconuts to the fold!

Let’s hear it for homogeneity. With your help, Az, I bet we can get there.

What do you think? Do accents really thwart someone’s chances at success as much as being named LaKwashawndalier does?

Compton Cookout – Classic!

When I saw this facebook invitation to a “Compton Cookout” hosted by frat brothers in San Diego, I was upset and heartbroken.

“February marks a very important month in American society. No, I’m not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I’m talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey’s, stuntin’ up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High / Low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks – Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes – they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red. They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as “constipulated,” or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as “hmmg!,” or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises, grunts, and faces. The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these “respectable” qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.

We will be serving 40’s, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank – which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered – or not.”

Why wasn’t I on the invite list??

Sure, it’s dicey for Oreos to spend time with other people of color, but spending time with people pretending to be of color is just as important as making sure you’ve staked out your place at the regatta. Because here, we are reminded of just how unpleasant we would be if we were RBP.

Thanks, brothers, for the reminder. See you at next year’s Pimps and Hos ball, the Gangta Grill and the Cotton Bowl.