Month: June 2010

Confession: I am in this Big Boi/Mary J Blige Video

Really…Hey, it’s been a tough couple of years for all of us. And even an Oreo needs to find work when she can.

But instead of lamenting, let’s make it fun. Can you find me? Hit me back (the kids say–as I was told on set) and let me know you’ve spotted me by giving me the time code of where I show up. First one to it gets a personalized mix of the music on my ipod that got me through that day. 🙂

Spidey as an RBP?

I can only hope that one day, people get behind me playing Audrey Hepburn in a film with the strength and fervor the internets are giving to getting Donald Glover, the Community and Derrick Comedy cast member! With an upcoming new installment of Spiderman, lots of folks are hoping that the role which was vacated by Tobey Macguire goes to Donny. There’s a facebook group and a Twitter meme and video of Stan Lee saying that we might very well have had enough race-blind casting in comic movies.

The jury’s still out over here at TOE as to where on the Oreo spectrum Donald falls. He certainly wouldn’t make it as an extra on The Wire, but I don’t know that I’m going to see him at the Grease sing a long at the end of the month, either. He did write for 30 Rock, a show which boasts an Oreo of its own (and also Tracey Morgan, so maybe that’s a draw) and he makes us laugh when he says the n-word very matter of factly. (video in a moment). But he also sports a small fro and sometimes goes a little sassy and he plays football and once rapped a bit on Community.

What do you think? Is the world ready for an of color Peter Parker?Has a race crossover ever gone wrong? What about gender? Happens in theater? Could it happen in superhero world?

And, comic book folks, does he ever get over Mary Jane? Nothing against Kirsten, but man is MJ boring. Now Rachel Dawes…there’s a lady worth getting bent out of shape for.

Below is video of Donald in two of my favorite sketches ever. The second one is NSFW for language.

Good Steak: rbst- hormone- and minority-free!

Hard work ethic, check.

Solid business plan with proven track record, check.

Popular franchise with more than 400 locations in 16 countries, check.

Getting rid of minority face, check!

This is the story of Charley’s Grilled Subs. As the list above suggests, they’re doing just fine for themselves. So when the company decided to tell its history, it did what any self loather would do: changed the face of the owner from this:

To this guy:

Click on the link to the Charley’s website above and you’ll see that in the history section of the site, they tell the story of Charley’s rise to success though the hazely and rounded eyes of the green shirted gent above.  Nevermind Charley Shin’s actual story, which you can find here.

Charley has obviously seen great success, but now, he’s found the greatest success of all: shedding that exterior and letting the creme of his Twinkieness shine through.

Finally realizing the final part of the American dream, check!

Mood: Disco-tastic!

Shiny! Sexy! Soothing!

I came home late last night to the glorious sounds of the Bee Gees BLASTING from my across the street neighbor’s house. Sure it was 1 a.m. and the fact that  the music was loud to me as I unlocked my front door 30 yards away from the source of the sound, but it was the Bee Gees! And you must rock that shit!

What a great way to end my long day, with the sweet sounds of tight, three part Manchesterian harmony!

Also: What to do when the music isn’t this good! Learn to sing a favorite Oreo song!

My Head’s All Spinny

I don’t know what it is about spin class that makes me clearly delusional.

I start off feeling all frumpy and gross in my sweats…as I think one is meant to feel in front of an ever-peppy instructor with thighs that don’t touch and happy faces on her bike shoes. I’m less than plussed about biking in front of this mirror because I can see all the wrong, wobbly bits.

But then, something happens.

I don’t know if it’s hearing Harder, Faster, Better, Stronger on the warm up, Helena on the uphill or heck, Mickey on the cool down downhill, but by the end, with the endorphins racing, I look in the mirror and think that I should be rocking a runway without even showering. 

Does this happen to anyone else? This weird sense of I can do anything post workout? Am I not breathing from my diaphragm, so it’s just the asphyxiation setting in? Whatever it is, I wish I could bottle it. Anyone know how?

Int. WhitePal’s Apartment – Day

WhitePal: (singing, soflty) …there’s blood all over my toaster..

OreoWriter: Well, you are making English muffins all wrong, then.

WP: What?

OW: I’m sorry,  was it that pumpernickel? It was pretty dry.

WP: Was what what?

OW: Why are you bleeding on your toaster?

WP: It’s from a song, it’s not a toaster…it’s a “toaster.” C’mon, I bet even you can get this. What do you think a toaster is slang for?

OW: Well, if it follows the logic of cockney rhyming slang–

WP: Of course it doesn’t.

OW: Okay…toaster…I don’t…

WP: C’mon, stay with me. Something powerful….intimidating….strong…

OW: The climax of Spring Awakening!

WP: That doesn’t even make sense. How could you even get blood on that?

OW: You’ve obviously never seen the climax of Spring Awakening. Now that, is a toaster!

Want more WP/OW banter? See them misunderstood because of the cell phone law , enjoying contemporary music or dancing at a mis-pitched engagement party.

And in case you want to hear the horrible, horrible song on which this conversation was predicated.  You can let your ears bleed out by clicking here.