Int./Ext. WhitePal’s and OreoWriter’s Cars

WHITEPAL and OREOWRITER drive on two different stretches of highway, chatting via Bluetooth. STATIC can be heard on both ends of the line. Both strain to hear the other.

WP: …I don’t know. I think I sound like a wigger in your blog.

OW: You may have a way with words, not unlike Daniel Webster, but you’re no elitist.

WP: …What?!

OW: You’re no elitist. Definitely not a Whig.

WP: Really? A Whig Party reference?

OW: I could hardly hear you…Now it’s clear…Is “whig” not what you said?

WP: No. I said “wigger.”

OW: Ohhhhh, right…(pause)..wait…like the porch furniture?


  1. I can categorically attest that your transcripts of our conversations are accurate.

    As a side note, the Bluetooth headset trend was started by self-important white business types, and then adopted by Suge Knight-esque black guys in hip hop clubs who wear them even while grindin’ on the surrounding fly honeys.

    While this shows an aspect of the O-revolution in a mainstream setting, I’m not sure if this pushes the Oreo Movement closer or further away from it’s lofty goal. I just thought it necessary to call to light.

    Also…… Word.

  2. just stop wishing to be white, because you look like a f***** retard. you will never be white bitch. you trying to look like a barbie doll but you look like a chew toy for a dogs. no real white man would be with you you for f****** naive wake up

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