Diary of a Mad White Black Woman: Name Changing

Dear Diary,

I’m sure you’ve read the news (being the sentient bundle of pages that you are) that the rapper formerly known as Snoop Dogg (sic) will now be going by the name Snoop Lion.


I guess it’s neat that he is both a cat and a dogg person.

I understand the temptation to change your name. Not only did I go by “Arden Rochelle,” “Diana,” “Allison” and “Sable” at various points during junior and high school, (Apologies Mrs. Livsey, Mr. Young, Mrs. Koepsel for making you indulge me), but I’ve also done it the legal way and not just the ‘surely-this-will-alleviate-some-of-my-unpopularity-oh-what-it-doesn’t-piss-it” route as well.

But Snoop’s decision reminds me of just one more reason why I can’t get on board with RBP music. Nothing wrong with choosing a nom de plume, just make sure that it makes sense.

Snoops aren’t even the best kind of dog.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are.

Nor are they any kind of lion.

Just for “fun” I decided to enter the dark world of rap for one terrifying moment (Don’t worry, I brought safety equipment: pepper spray, Olympic dressage pass, Quiche) and looked up what my rapper names might be. Suggestions included:

  • A Velvet
  • A Butter Love
  • Serious Mystique
  • Bootie A Cakes
  • A Blunt
  • A Missy A
  • W Tang (which I’m pretty sure is taken)

These names make no sense. And neither do others Flo-Rida is not a name, it’s a state that everyone forgets is Southern. Method Man sounds like the documentary that accompanies the DVD about how Dustin Hoffman gets into character. And Mike Jones is someone I once auditioned against for All-State band.

Oreo me just can’t help it. I like the good, solid names of people who make good, solid music: Wolfgang, Dick Hyman, Dweezil.

Also, thanks to a typo I just made, I realized: you can’t spell rape without “rap.” I’m not saying that correlation equals causation but whatever, words don’t lie. Unless they’re told by a liar.


What do you think of Snoop’s decision to dive into Reggae?

What other names do you go by? Why are you trying to hide from yourself (not that I oppose, just curious).

Let us know in the comments!

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Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Mood: Disco-tastic!

Shiny! Sexy! Soothing!

I came home late last night to the glorious sounds of the Bee Gees BLASTING from my across the street neighbor’s house. Sure it was 1 a.m. and the fact thatĀ  the music was loud to me as I unlocked my front door 30 yards away from the source of the sound, but it was the Bee Gees! And you must rock that shit!

What a great way to end my long day, with the sweet sounds of tight, three part Manchesterian harmony!

Also: What to do when the music isn’t this good! Learn to sing a favorite Oreo song!

Now That’s Hip Hop I Can Get Into!

Thanks, Swagger Wagon, for taking music that is usually scary and making it adorable!

Spitting about nuclear families and carpooling? Awesome! Ciphers about tea parties? I love it!

Me loving a parody of what started as a legitimate artistic protest against powers that be actually keeping people down, but now does damage to many of those same people? Oreo-tastic!

Mourning the Loss of an Icon

The Oreo Experience laments the loss of a meaningful and important cultural icon: The Grammy for Best Polka Album.grammy_award-300x380

This week, the folks who bring you the Grammy Awards decided to eliminate the award for the best Polka album because the genre is no longer “pertinent in the current musical landscape.”


PolkaCantDie2The sweet sounds of accordions and tubas in 6/8 time have comforted me on many and many a cold night. And my pilmgramges to The Great Allentown Fair to see 18-time Polka Grammy Winner Jimmy Sturr have been well worth the unpaid days off of work. And if it’s good enough for They Might Be Giants, Weird Al Yankovich and Frank Wojnarowsk, then by gosh, it’s good enough for the rest of us.

So a tip of the hat, a click of the heels and a slap of the thigh to my fellow Czech music enthusiasts. Know that just because the cultural change makers of the nation no longer acknowledges you, I will never forget.