What Not To Say When Everyone In The Room Shouts The N Word, Then Suddenly Realizes You’re Also In The Room

Zumba. I love it. Especially on nights like tonight.

Zumba is actually tricky for an Oreo. During the dance-style group exercise class, some of the moves can come dangerously close to looking like popping and/or locking. So as a good Oreo, I always try to stiffen up a little on some of the hippier moves so as not to frighten the other dancers or myself.

What I feel like when I work out

And then tonight, something wonderful happened. I don’t know what the song was (Sondheim didn’t write it, so I was at a loss), but everyone else in the room did. As we danced, they sang along and sang along and sang along. Suddenly, a group n-word was dropped.

I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Usually, when there’s an RBP in the room, people would shy away from one of the most offensive words in the English language. They’d think twice about shouting out in unison a word that has probably gotten people killed. At the very least, it’s gotten people into debates on Oprah’s couch–which for an Oreo might be a scarier place than the business end of a revolver. Normally, if an RBP was in a room, people would maybe try to be polite.

But not with me there. It was like they didn’t think I was black at all!!

Unfortunately, as quickly as my happiness was upon me, it disappeared. For seconds after they said the word, they caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and everyone looked embarrassed. No one sang along for the rest of class.

What I look like when I work out

My apologies, ladies (and you, one rockin’ gent) for sullying tonight’s good time. I will work on my pointe and hopefully blend in much better next time.

Granted, some of the following did go through my head, but thanks to my Oreo training, they stayed inside and my outside voice never took control:

  • What the effing eff??! Why do you all know this song???!
  • What the effing eff???! Why did you include this song in your playlist??!
  • I might need to speak to management about this.
  • I’m concerned you might not understand some basic points of everyday etiquette
  • You’re right, it is ~just~ a word after all, you stupid whale cunt.
  • *sobs*

Any of those responses would have seemed really RBP-like. Sure, the growing ulcer in my stomach might one day take over my entire digestion system. But I’ll look darn good while I’m convalescing. Yay, Zumba!

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For Mor-eo! Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
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12 comments

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  2. I always suspected pop music made white folks very comfortable saying that word. Now I know why they’re so anxious about not being able to say it. They just want to sing along.

    1. Name one pop music where nigger are used.
      Last time I checked the Niggers in Paris music play of the Great black composer Kane West are filed under rap music.

      And played uncensored on European radio stations. You dont get job in the radio if your not an modern open minded guilt ridden white of the left.

  3. I’m shocked that Ms. Oreowriter would be in the company of such redneck people! 🙂 I lost an account because two of the employees were embarrassed that they used the “N” word in front of me. The owner and all the people made obvious attempts to prove that they were not “those type people”. They invited me to a Christmas party one year….I just smiled and said I was headed out of town for the holidays…:-)

  4. Next time let the outside voice take control and release these:

    What the effing eff??! Why do you all know this song???!
    What the effing eff???! Why did you include this song in your playlist??!

    This needs to be voiced from the colored so the white snob liberal lefty class can see what they are tricked into as Goyims by the J-star behind the pushing of the G-star music.

    This will benefit you and me in the long run.

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