We spend a lot of time here talking about the benefits involved in being an Oreo. But what about the benefits involved in having an Oreo?
Oreo released this darling commercial this week. Its’ a cute little animation that imagines a world full of wonderful people doing wonderful, sweet things and living wonderful, pleasant lives because everyone has been given Oreos.
I couldn’t agree with more! People do get happy when they get an Oreo! Whether you find one for yourself or are given one as a gift, there are many benefits to having your own Oreo.
We’re easy to find in a crowd. Don’t you just hate it when you’re at the yacht club or DisneyWorld or a Lipizzaner show and you get separated from your party? Well, with an Oreo, all you have to do is scan the crowd for the one brown face, and bingo! You’re back on track.
We provide hours of entertainment. I personally think my hair is pretty boring. But judging by the number of questions I get and have gotten about it, my hair is apparently fascinating. With an Oreo by your side, you can ask all the annoying questions you want and stay occupied for hours. Stuck in a TKTS line or a tube queue and don’t feel like getting in to something too deep? Just throw out a “soo…why do you always wrap your hair in a New Kids on the Block concert tee before you take a shower” and boom! Time will fly by!*
We can help out your political campaign. Worried that folks can’t distinguish between a photo of your political rally and a klan rally because both contain equal numbers of brown faces? Just bring an Oreo along and place them in a camera ready location. You’ll look hella diverse! Of course, you can do much the same with Photoshop.
We help you feel better about that slang you just dropped. You know how we’re still debating whether or not it’s okay for people to use the n-word willy nilly? Without an Oreo, you have two options. a) ask an RBP if you can say it and watch your face get snapped right off or b) consider empathy, do some research on how and why some terms are offensive and question your motives for wanting to say it so badly in the first place. No Thank You!
With an Oreo, however, you can ask them if you can say it and they’ll probably say something really polite and change the subject, thereby letting you off the hook forevah! (Also, if you need n-sounding options, we’ve got those for you, too!)
So give someone an Oreo today! What will you do with yours?
*For you. Your Oreo might be uncomfortable/annoyed. But at least they won’t be jerks about it like an RBP would be.