Dos and Don’ts for Attending Yoga and Other Racially Themed Events

One of the best ways to have fun as a group is to play pretend and act like you’re a totally different group. Kids do this at parties all the time. They play Castle ™ or Princess ™ or if you’re me, you played Let’s Write Checks At the Grocery Store ™.

But adults do things differently. Gone are the days when you could just get your gal pals together and have a Fairy Tea Party ™. Adults have to up the stakes. And the Power of Your Om Yoga Studio in Santa Barbara, CA showed us exactly what those stakes should be.

Last week, the yoga studio hosted a Ghetto Fabulous Yoga Night. Per the invitation.

“Each month we will be featuring a new funky class…this month let’s get ghetto fabulous! You sport the white tank, roll up one leg of your tight black pants, and we’ll make sure to have a rockin’ playlist bring the bling”

Invitees were directed to:

“Come dressed in your favorite ghetto fabulous outfit, snap-back caps, corn rows, heavy lip liner or whatever you can dream up.”

Then afterward, everyone posted pictures proving that a good time was had by all.

Throwing gang signs--the authentic way to end Savasana  (source)

Throwing gang signs–the authentic way to end Savasana
(source)

We all know that the first rule of throwing a blackface party is to NOT TELL ANYONE YOU’RE THROWING A BLACKFACE PARTY. But people not only insist on throwing these things, they’re very excited to tell everyone that they’re happening.

Which means that it’s not unlikely that you might accidentally wander into such an event. You might be tempted to walk back out, but with the following Do and Don’t list, you can attend your racially dubious event with ease.

  • DO keep an open mind. People who embarrass you are people, too. We should accept them.
  • DON’T take it personally. They’re not making fun of you, just people you’re potentially related to. Stop being all uppity about it
  • DO allow people to ask you to validate their choices. Chances are someone will say something like “did I do these cornrows right?” or “Where can I get a better grill” or “Do you have a do-rag I can borrow?” Just smile, nod and let them touch your hair. They’re having a good time.
  • DON’T be a jerk and ruin all the fun.
  • DO hang out after class. They’re going out for drinks, why not join them? That way you can giggle over how much fun it all was, make plans for the next big event and cocktail away your pain.
  • DON’T miss even more fun upcoming classes! In the next few weeks, be sure to catch:

Run for the Border Restorative

Next week we’re gonna fiesta as we get fit! Come to class dressed in your favorite poncho, sombrero, or day laborer outfit and get ready to stretch out those sexy salsa hips! We’ll swap out our yoga bricks for old lawnmowers for added authenticity. Don’t worry about those armed guards at the door, we just want it to feel like you’re really there! Ole! Ayiyiyiyiyiyi! Casa! Perro!

Burka’d Bikram

In October, we’re turning our Sun Salutations East! The Middle East that is! Ohmygod, you guys, we’re hilarious!! You thought our hot room was toasty before. Well, wait for this! You’ll be shocked at how much you sweat in our full length burkas! Remember girls, though we can only see your eyes, we’ll still be able to tell if you’re cheating. And we all know what happens when you cheat. We are not afraid to stone a bitch!

OG Kundalini

In December, just in time for Christmas, we’re going OG – that’s Original Ghetto to you! You sport the tattered pants, the torn shirt, shoeless feet and those super cute side curls! We’ll bring yellow arm bands for everyone and supply a rockin’ klezmer-polka mashup!

Can’t wait to see everyone there!

For more awesomely awkward shindigs, check out:

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