black people

Yay! Women Win! So Do Of Colors…in the most wonderful of ways!

No, Sandy. Thank YOU! 🙂

I, along with millions of others, waited with bated breath as envelopes were opened and my work as an Oreo was thankfuly confirmed!

(First, I must pause to say, let’s hear it for the interpretive dance number…am I right!!!)

So many good things in this year’s 82nd Annual Academy Awards Ceremony. Director Kathryn Bigelow was awarded as the first female to win Oscar for Best Director for her work on The Hurt Locker. And in precious news to all those who are trying to escape their ethnicity, Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress for her work in the Oreo-tastic film, The Blind Side.

Bonus points for screenwriter Geoffrey Fletcher and actress Mo’Nique for their work on Precious. Extra bonus points goes to ‘Nique for leading us into the final Barbara Walters interview with some weird talk about how she and her husband are allowed to have sex with other people and an up close and personal look at how she doesn’t shave her legs. Why limit the conversation to tasteful, reasonable topics? We have an image to uphold and thus work against, here!

Bonus, bonus, bonus points for her ending the segment, not with the poised Mo’Nique we saw at the Academy Awards, but for sassing it up, just to remind us that we really only want the Academy to be just so progressive. Otherwise, of colors look just like regular people and all of our work is in vain.

It’s great for women that the seal has been broken by Bigelow and that the nation can see that a woman is capable of directing a powerful, tense and gripping film with complex characters and a moving story.

Thank goodness then, that we are keeping of colors in the box that we as Oreos and Oreo adjacents need them to be in.

By awarding a screenwriter for writing about the worst of of colorness and an actress for playing the worst of colorness while also awarding another actress for taking care of of colors when (per the other film featuring black people that was nominated for an Academy Award) no one else can, the Academy has reminded all of us of just how great it will be to shun our skin and ascend into true Oreodom.

Nevermind that TBS leaves out a few key points of the story as writer Prairie Miller puts it:

“… The Blind Side excels at expressing the profound maternal affection and protective instincts Tuohy develops for this lost young soul, other troubling matters that come to light are skimmed over, and never quite resolved with dramatic assurance. In particular, the formal charges that were eventually leveled against Tuohy and Oher’s high school football coach Hugh Freeze, by the National Collegiate Athletic Association. And essentially, that the boy was being financially exploited by this family seeking legal guardianship over him. Along with Freeze, who eventually got a paid position at the college, where both pressured for his matriculation as a student participant in football.

Eventually Freeze was found in ethical violation, though the movie avoids a deeper exploration of rampant exploitation of ghetto youth in sports. A far better film this year that tackles those issues head on, is the Anna Boden/Ryan Fleck candid Dominican baseball drama indie, Sugar.”

Peccadilloes like legal quandaries are a small price to pay for keeping the social order in check.

Bonus points to me for DVRing this shindig so that I can watch both those fantastic pas de deux and see Sandy bring it home for me again and again and again.

Writing Advice

Inspired by Binyavanga Wainaina’s article “How to Write about Africa,” The Oreo Experience presents a handful of tips on how to write about not Africans, but African Americans. (Please, please do read Mr. Wainaina’s article. Excellent, sound advice there.) There are many similarities, but a few key differences.

Find a way to incorporate “soul,” “color,” “brother” or “dark” into your title or subhead. This will immediately clue your readers into the fact that this article is about someone of color. You need to let people know that awkward material is on the horizon. Bonus points if you can work some sort of ghetto/urban/ebonics into your title, too!

Never write about middle to upper middle class African Americans. Your audience will recognize that this can’t possibly be the experience of RPB and it will ring false.

Keep it down, low. Whether you’re writing about rising unemployment and continued high poverty, how the recession is hitting blacks harder than others, the burden felt by pioneers, higher levels of diabetes or HIV, or food deserts in of color communities, remember, no one should be smiling by the time they get to your end paragraph. Articles about doctors doing amazing things, academics rising to great heights
and well-to-do families adopting kids really need to focus off of of colors in order to ring true.

And as important as it is to write this way, Oreos, it’s important to keep reading, too. If you’re not sure why you’re fighting the Oreo fight, click on any of those links in Tip #3 and you’ll be back on the self-loathing track in no time!

Be sure to check back in next week when we discuss how to cast an actor of color in your film or television show!

Diary of a Mad White Black Woman – Image

Dear Diary,

The kind of invitation I’d been waiting for finally came. Embossed envelope withe the kind of wax seal I haven’t seen since my last Renaissance Festival. I was expecting to be asked to any number of red carpet events where I could rub sunburned elbows with the kind of people it does me good to be seen with.

Then I opened the envelope.

The NAACP Image Awards??

Such a tease you are, life, such a tease.

They are honoring The Blind Side, though. So, maybe they’re more Oreo-tastic than I thought.

The new “some of my best friends are black”

Sometimes, though they will be impressed with the progress you are making as an Oreo, non-colors will be confused. They’ll look at your burning pile of Ella Fitzgerald records and say something “Do you really need to try so hard to hide? I mean, c’mon, we have a black President.”

The phrase “We have a black President,” seems to be the new “C’mon, some of my best friends are black.”

People will use the phrase to justify anything from encouraging you to accept their present of Jay-Z tickets to being fairly openly racist.

Variations of this phrase include,

“…so what if diversity levels at companies are down, things are clearly different, we have a black President now.”
“…so what if Harry Reid said what he said, the guy in charge of making him apologize is our black President.”
“…who cares that the word “negro” will be on the Census, it obviously doesn’t mean anything bad, we have a black President.”

It may be tempting to point to statics that show that having a black President has done little so far to change the demographics of the inner city working poor or improve the conditions at under funded schools. But doing so will cause you to be seen as an RBP, so stuff it or be ready to be considered the affirmative action slip up.

The better choice is to run a polishing rag over your Young Republicans pin and say “you’re right. Things are different now.”

And be on the look out for other variations on this theme.

You may hear something like: “C’mon LL Cool J’s on NCIS.”

Usually said in response to: A sigh or lament at the fact that most criminals on police procedurals who kill with some sort of complicated and almost understandable emotion are white; and most killers who simply boast of blowing some kid, businessman or prostitute away with no remorse or sense of self-control are of color.

Proper Oreo Response: You’re right. And I do love Cool James.

You may hear something like: “C’mon, you have Roots.”

Usually said in response to: A lament at the fact that film canon about the Holocaust consists of well made movies that show all kinds of emotion, storytelling and filmmaking prowess while movies made about America’s holocaust, slavery, are relegated to maudlin TV movies and show slaves falling in love with their horrifically abusive masters while ignoring stories about how male slaves were regularly castrated sans sedatives, how lots of what we know about gynecology today came from living experiments on female slaves or that the American slave trade was kept going for 50 years after international slave trading was outlawed by slave owners who kept female slaves like breeding cows.

Proper Oreo Response. You’re right. Who doesn’t love Lamar?

You May Hear Something Like: “C’mon, they’re the heroes, they have to win big.”

Usually Said in Response To: Walking out of Avatar and thinking, “isn’t this Dance with Wolves or The Last Samurai just with aliens and a bazillion dollars of special effects instead of minorities. I’m not saying it’s a white guilt allegory, but maybe.”

Proper Oreo Response: You’re Right. Learning one of the most complicated linguistic systems ever known (DWW/AVA), mastering an art in a few months that people have literally spent their whole lives perfecting (AVA/TLS) and being the white love savior for a poor indentured native girl (DWW/AVA) is more than reasonable.

Learn these conversations and soon you may hear something like “You do play squash, right? You should join my league, we meet on Saturday.”

Proper Oreo Response: I’ll be there with bells on.

TC - Keeping it Real

“Racism Nearly Over,” Fox News says!

Are they right?

In an article published on foxnews.com, the confusingly named Juan Williams chided major newspapers for not publishing startling findings from the Pew Research Center for People and the Press that said that whites and blacks are existing in a blissful state of grey and that both camps feel that issues surrounding race are about to vanish.

Let’s take a look at some of his finer points:

JW writes:

“The poll by the respected Pew Research Center for the People and the Press found that 70 percent of white Americans and 60 percent of black Americans “believe values held by blacks and white have become more similar in the past decade.”

I agree. Sure, blacks and white do have the same values. Like I’m sure both sides value say, not murder and not being poor and finding love when they least expect it. Most people have similar values to other people. This doesn’t mean, however that they have similar ways of or equal access to pursuing those values.

For example, I value feeding my soul as well as my belly by having a relaxing, long lunch. So does my boss. We both can’t be out of the office for an extended period of time. Guess who wins.

JW continues:

“The poll also found that 65 percent of whites and 56 percent of blacks believe the gap between standards of living for the two races has narrowed over the last ten years. Even as incomes between the races have slightly widened during those ten years there is the feeling among both races that the level of comfort – living standard – is increasingly similar.”

Here, Williams admits that the gap has gotten bigger, but is happy that we’ve all been duped to believe otherwise.

And take a look at this gem…carefully:

“And in what I think is the most amazing finding of the new poll 52 percent of blacks said that black people who are not getting ahead today are “responsible for their own situation.” Only one-third of black Americans said racism is keeping down the black poor.

Fifteen years polls found the exact opposite with most black people pointing to racism as the major impediment to black people rising up the ladder of social and economic opportunity in the U.S.”

JW asserts that it’s a good thing that fewer blacks feel that racism is making life harder for them. That people are “responsible for their own situation.” This, just after he wrote that the economic gap between blacks and whites is widening.

The inference that has to be drawn from these two statements is that the gap is widening because of something that blacks are doing wrong. Because if racism or historically disenfranchising systems aren’t the problem, then it has to be blacks themselves.

See why I’m trying to hard to escape my ethnicity!

But wait, there’s more!

JW says:

“But there is something else going on here. Since the intense years of civil rights activism in the 1950s and 1960s the rates of high school graduation, income and home ownership have all been climbing for black Americans. But despite those decades of change polls did not find any sudden rise in optimism among black people to match what this latest Pew poll has uncovered.

I think I know why.

Black Americans and especially black civil rights leaders did not want to acknowledge the progress being made on the race relations front. Blacks feared that white America — in the form of government, foundations, churches and educational institutions — might point to any admission of racial progress as evidence that there was no more work to be done to heal the damage done to contemporary American life by racism.”

I heart that he makes this grand and sweeping assertion without any quote or research to back up such a theory.

So is racism about to meet an untimely end? Based on recent films, Golden Globe winners and meetings I’ve had, likely not. But that issue is eclipsed by the best thing about this article and this writer…he’s of color. Were this article written by a non color Foxer, I’d be nonplussed, but it looks like JW is one of us. So I welcome his castigation of the working poor and un-backed up theories with open arms! Welcome aboard Juan.

But we are going to have to change that first name. We can talk about it over ‘tinis. See you at the club, Trevor!

We got another one!

A Friend Apologizes

After a 98% fantastic New Year’s Eve, I received this email this morning. After reading,we’re at 100% fantastic. Thanks, J.

Hey You!

Happy New Year. It was great seeing you at the yacht party on Thursday night. So glad the Civic Light Opera let you out early so you could ring in the new year with us.

I also wanted to check in with you. I wasn’t sure if you were upset about the guest list and I hope that we didn’t offend you. Malcolm has been a family friend for years and years and we just couldn’t not invite him.

Please don’t misunderstand. I totally get your life choice and I know how scary it must have been to see him standing starboard. I did my best to keep you two from interacting, though I saw you both reaching for the saffron balls at the same time, I hope you made it through that okay. What can I say, you both love saffron!

Anyway, thanks again for coming. Oh! And thank you so much for your Bowline on a Bight skills. I don’t know why Trevor felt he had to swing out over the sea, but we probably would have lost him were it not for your knot.

All the best in 2010! We’re going to see the Lipizanners next month. Want us to get you a ticket?

-J

PS. Despite your rules, I do think that you and Malcolm would make a great couple. Just saying. He lives in Hancock Park. And plays lacrosse. 🙂

A Christmas Present at the Movies

With my carolling song book packed away for next year, my Dickens Fair costume tucked into its moisture controlled box and my crush on Jude Law firmly in place, I spent a lovely Christmas evening enjoying Sherlock Holmes.

Not only was the movie itself great–old London, great pacing and direction, a beauty standard I could never live up to–but I got an extra special surprise during the previews before the film even began.

Now, it is important to note that the expectations for the box office draw for Sherlock Holmes were high. Execs were counting on just bunches and bunches of people seeing this flick, so it was important to front load the feature with trailers that would appeal to most people–i.e, trailers that reflected what most people would want and expect to see from a quality film.

The trailers did not disappoint and once again, reinforced how much and why we Oreos don’t want to be black. Please allow me to break down the films based on the trailers shown tonight for you.

Season of the Witch – Nick Cage battles an evil lady.

Things White People Do In This Movie: Be intriguingly in league with thedevil, intelligently discover what is going wrong in the town, find the right man for the job, assemble a group of capable men, belong to the group of capable men, save the day.

Things Black People Do In This Movie: n/a (judging from the trailer, there appear to be no black people appearing in this film.)

Date Night – Tina Fey and Steve Carrell love each other and get into mishaps.

Things White People Do In This Movie – be in love, work on their relationship, take care of their TMJ, have children who love them, go to fancy dinners, have enough money to be wanted by thugs, lead each other on a clever cat and mouse chase through the streets of a major city, be gorgeous even when poverty stricken, look super hot in their high tech apartment.

Things Black People Do In This Movie – Scare people. According to this trailer, there’s one black guy in this film and he has no lines in the trailer. A quick analysis of movies means this is probably because he has few lines in the movie at all or because his lines are inappropriate for a trailer. So he’s either foul or unnecessary. Either way, I don’t wanna be that guy.

Iron Man 2 – Robert Downey, Jr. is sexy.

Things White People Do In This Movie – Be sexy, invent world-changing technology, run courtrooms, bring a room to its feet, tease each other andmake cute jokes about other movies about white people, fly, grace the covers of magazines, fight badassly in impossibly tight costumes, win.

Things Black People Do In This Movie – look pensive, fight, replace other black people. Instead of Terrance Howard, we have Don Cheadle in this sequel. And according to the trailer dons an Iron Man suit himself. Again, he has no lines in the trailer, so it’s hard to tell what his attitude is except one of support and service to his white buddy, Rob.

Things Other People of Color Do In This Movie – Threaten the safety of America.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Nick Cage has another movie??

Things White People Do In This Movie – Be a relatable everykid, conjureexciting things, train an up and comer, drive fancy cars, fall in love, leave reality behind, save the day.

Things Black People Do In This Movie – n/a

Clash of the Titans – gorgeous, amazing badassery set in ancient Gre

ece.

Things White People Do In This Movie – Have amazing abs, be royalty, bravely battle terrible beasts, be deities, demonstrate superb underwaterbreath control, have layered emotional journeys, survive incredible odds, have sex.

Things Black People Do In This Movie – n/a

Cop Out – Tracy Morgan lowers the bar.

Things White People Do In This Movie – Explain the “right way to do police work,” prepare to take care of themselves, baffle the black lead, silently criticize, remain cool under pressure, high five.
Better times with TM

Things Black People Do In This Movie – ruffle feathers, say “hell no!”, get bothered by high school pranks, use Barack Obama to justify questionable judgement, high five.

Now, some might argue that there are some logistical issues like the fact that black people didn’t exist in Ancient Greece, but you know what else didn’t exist, Krakens. However, I do suppose a giant, underwater, half-god hellbeast is more believable than an of color in a respected position of power and authority. It’s the movies, after all, not total make-believe.

Either way, I’m totally getting up early tomorrow to see Did You Hear About the Morgans. Hugh Grant is a favorite. I know it was ages ago, but he could have chosen to pay to have secret sex with anyone and he chose to pay to have secret sex with a black girl….so it’s like he paid to have secret sex with me.

It was very special.

Are You Alone?

: Always Control Your Perimeter

As we have discussed, it is important to be the only person of color in the room at any given time or event. Having more than one of us around can lead to all sorts of miscommunication, embarrassing run-ins and tempt either of you to discuss common race-related issues that might trigger a long latent desire to read some Nikki Giovanni.

But sometimes a room is crowded, dark or split-level. So how do you both determine if there are any of colors in the vicinity and relax enough to proudly show off the pictures from Inverness on your iPhone?

Instead of prowling from corner to corner paper bag testing everyone you come into contact with, just look for a few key things to see if you are safe.

1. People never seem to quite finish the sentences: “So…you’re here with…..” or “You must be here to see…….” or “You must know Carol from……..”

2. You are at the Viper Room.

3. The DJ suddenly changes the music from relatively ambient Slowdive and Neutral Milk Machine and includes a random cameo like Baby Got Back. Then a dance circle forms around you. Don’t panic, after they see your first perfectly precise box step, they’ll get the idea.

4. People ask you oddly practical questions out of the blue like “Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?” “What time does are you closing tonight?” and “Can I give you my coat?”

5. You cannot quite find the words to describe your complete and utter sense of relaxation.

If these elements are in place, enjoy your party! And be sure to try the tapenade.

Holiday Party Survival Guide

It’s that time of year when despite your best efforts you may be forced to spend time with other of colors. This will likely happen at family gatherings, holiday charity donation drives or company events where the main office invites the warehouse and janitorial staff to attend.

A check of the guest list might encourage you to skip the peppermint-tinis and almond hummus bruschetta to avoid potentially dangerous run-ins. But keep these few rules in mind and you can schmooze safely.

1. Avoid Eye Contact. As you enter the room, perform a quick perimeter scan. At this point, do not lock eyes with anyone, simply discover and memorize the locations of your anti-targets. Keep them in your peripheral vision throughout the night, but only there. Even a slight look in the eyes of an of color may strike in the Oreo an uncomfortable familiarity. In that moment, you may see the parts of yourself that you have thankfully pushed aside to reach for a higher goal. And you don’t need anything that might lure you back to the dark side.

2. Remember: Their Vision is Based on Movement. There will be music at this party. For the most part, these songs will be timeless holiday classics like O Holy Night and White Christmas. However, the appearance of melanin will likely encourage the DJ to play something ethnic. You may be finishing the final 1-2-3 steps to Adeste Fidelis when Empire State of Mind begins hurting your ears.

Halt your box step immediately. If the others see you moving as this anthemic “tribute” to New York begins, they may get the wrong idea and assume that you’re going to join them popping and locking on the dancefloor.

Remember, just because “orchestrapop” contains the word “orchestra,” that does not mean that it is Oreo approved music.

3. Sound the Oreo Distress Call. You may do everything right on your mixed crowd evening and still have something go wrong. Whether it’s something as simple as getting stuck in the crepe line next to that guy from shipping and receiving or an of color taking it one step further and asking for the time, the location of the restroom or your number, you must remove yourself from this situation ASAP before your coworkers, that one white family member or the leaders of the friendly non-profit organization think you are nothing more than an RBP.

Chin up, Ziggy. It's not personal.

It’s time to sound the distress call. The distress call is simply a line of spoken dialogue that will draw fairer skinned people your conversation and push anyone else to a different gift exchange. Use one of the following if you need to escape quickly:

God, the Redwings were amazing last night.
I wish I knew where I put my Young Republicans pin.
Call me crazy, but I really prefer the Thin White Duke to Ziggy Stardust.

Happy Holidays. Be safe, be smart, be assimilated. It’s a gift we all deserve.

Oreo Interviews – Dale, grocery store owner

Grocery cart Every once in a while, I have the chance to talk with people who really remind me why I’m fighting so hard for my Oreodom. I stumbled across my latest interview quite by accident.

I was researching famous black actor Steppin Fetchit. Mr. Fetchit changed the course of life for African Americans everywhere by condoning what ruling class performers were already doing in minstrel shows by becoming a minstrel who came already blackfaced. Instead of presenting himself as an intelligent, upwardly mobile human, he presented himself as a shuffling, idiotic, infantile man. And in so doing, became the first African American millionaire.

His legacy forever altered the way of colors were seen on TV.

Naturally, this is the kind of material a good Oreo should watch over and over again just to keep the self loathing fresh and on hand.

When I googled “step n fetch”–the term that was ultimately derived from his name to describe a certain type of behavior and persona, I found a variety of businesses who use the name.

The first one I was able to contact was Step N Fetch Um Grocery in a small town in Oklahoma.

Because it’s rare to find a business who so blatantly reminds its customer base what the average Oreo is fighting against, I knew I had to speak to the owner to thank him for justifying my fight. Below is the transcript of some of the highlights of the conversation.

OW: …I actually found your business because I was looking for some information on the actor Stepin Fetchit. Do you know that is?

Dale: Mmm, no. I never…I heard about it, but I don’t know–

OW: –Who he is?

Dale: Ahh, I don’t know any details on it. I just…Somebody has–they’ve asked several times and I tell them “I don’t know.”

OW: Oh really? People have asked about it before? What do they say?

Dale: They just asked me if I come up with that name, I say “no.”

Dale then explained to me that the name was actually created by his business partner who unfortunately passed away quite some time ago. Dale bought the business from his partner’s wife and kept the store and the namesake.

OW: Have you ever looked up who Stepin Fetchit is?

Dale: Mmm, no. In fact, though, last year, one of the school kids, I guess they were studying something in school and they asked me about it.

OW: You guys should look up the actor sometime, though, he’s really interesting. He was a black actor in the first part of last century, which was really groundbreaking at the time. But he kind of created the sort of character that a lot of black characters are in movies today. He was kinda dumb and very much like “yes, missa, lemme do that fo’ ya missa,” like evoked that kind of persona. Which, I don’t know. I’ve heard that some people get offended by that. Have you heard that?

Dale: Yeah. I’ve heard some of it. It’s kinda like …and I don’t know if you remember this or not, but do you remember Sidney Poitier, he played with–he was the first black cowboy I’d ever seen.

OW: What was he like?

Dale: He was great. He was a real good actor.

OW: Sidney Poiter was an amazing actor. Did he play the same kind of character that Stepin Fetchit did? Like the kind of dumb guy?

Dale: No, he played one of the main characters.

OW: That’s great. Good thing you didn’t name your business after Sidney. That would have been an awkward homage.

We talked movies for a bit, before returning to the topic at hand.

Dale: It’s interesting that people bring this up every once in a while. Evidentially, it must be back in the history books.

OW: Are they upset or bothered?

Dale: No, they just ask about it and I tell them my partner made it up.

OW: Was your partner black by any chance?

Dale: No. He was from down eastern Oklahoma.

OW: When people ask about the business name, are they upset or concerned or do they like it?

Dale: I had one lady who said “Well, that’s kinda offensive.” I said “Well, I dunno. Not that I know of.”

OW: She asked if you thought it was offensive and you said you didn’t know.

Dale: Yeah, it was somebody from out of town. It wasn’t nobody–

OW: Oh, she wasn’t from your town?

Dale: No. Huh-uh.

OW: Was she black?

Dale: Uh, she was part. But she was asking me about this and I said “I don’t know!”

OW: Well, I mean, why would you konw. And why would you go look it up? That’s a lot of time to take.

Dale: Well, a lot of people get curious on stuff like that. I’m not a great big history buff. It doesn’t concern what we’re going through. If it doesn’t affect us now, I don’t really worry about it. That was 40 or 50 years ago.

OW: Yeah, stuff that happened 40 or 50 years ago does not affect what’s going on today.

Dale: It’s like my ancestors. They came over here from Switzerland.

OW: I love skiing. Do you get to go skiing very much?

Dale: My granddad used to talk about fighting over horse biscuits in the street.

OW: Horse biscuits?

Dale: Horse poop.

OW: Oh! Those kinds of horse biscuits.

Dale: They had to use it for burning over there. I thought that was kind of hard to believe, but like this other stuff, it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on today.

OW: That does sound like the same issue as Stepin Fetchit’s dubious legacy.

Dale: Yeah, because we don’t have to put up with it.

OW: Yeah, don’t have to put up with fighting for fuel in the streets. Don’t have to put up with terrible images of black people in movies. It’s all better.

Dale: Yes.

Dale went on to tell me how he grew up mostly around Native Americans. He even had a black friend in high school.

OW: So, because you grew up around so many minorities, do you feel a connection to the cultures?

Dale: Oh yes! They had the same problems that we did.

OW: Exactly the same problems.

Now, I understood. That connection that he so proudly proclaimed clearly explained why he didn’t waste any time figuring out if the name of his business was offensive or at the very least, outdated.

OW: Now, are there very many people of color in your town?

Dale: I’ve got one sitting right here.

OW: Well, congratulations.

Dale: Do you want to talk to him?

And that’s when the conversation became terrifying. Not just because I was chatting with another of color–if any other Oreos would have seen me, I’d be chastised for sure, but because of what he told me mere second into the conversation.

OW: I’m a little intrigued by the grocery store Step N Fetch Um. Are you a regular here?

RBP: Oh yes.

OW: Do you like the name?

RBP: Yeah! Ain’t nothing wrong with this name. We still have to step and fetch it!

Well, technically not since 1865, but who’s counting?

OW: Do you know the actor Stepin Fetchit?

RBP: I know all that, but if you leave the name alone, it’ll be okay.

OW: Did you like his work? Did you think he was funny?

RBP: Yeah, he was funny.

OW: So you’ve seen very many of his movies.

RBP: I’ve seen practially all of them.

So I guess Tyler Perry is on to something, after all.

OW: Well, thank you. I am off to go shine some shoes and serve some lunch, I will talk to you guys later.

RBP: Okay, bye.

Please enjoy the following clip of Stepin in action. (Just in case it’s not clear, Step is the lazy man in bed who can’t get up, is fascinated by the telephone, can barely get his words out, and happily admits to being 11 months behind on rent)