Why Go White Reason #415 – Better Emails

One of the features on the dating site OkCupid is the regular posting of fairly detailed analyses of their members and their behaviours.

The post I read today largely talked about how white people get the majority of emails on OkCupid (and incidentally, that black users get the fewest). But the truth is that white people get the most message because the overwhelming majority of daters on OkC are white. And if you remove them from the equation, daters actually prefer to message people of their own race.

Clearly they have not asked me my opinion about this.

However, a piece of info at the bottom of the article caught my attention.

They sorted the reading level of the messages sent and found that if you’re white, you get smarter emails!! I want can haz smarter emails! I love smart emails! Use a word I don’t know around me and my clothes pretty much fall off.

They also found that if you’re brown, you get sent dumber emails. And if you’re brown and receive an email from another brown person, your emails are the dumbest of all! But if you’re white or Asian, those same emailers class it up a bit!! What gives?!

And I can attest to the dumb email thing. Here are some gems I’ve gotten recently both on OkC and off.

  • “OW looks great. Oreo or not, I would cuff her.” (I don’t even know what that means…cuff?? I’m assuming he doesn’t mean “arrest.” )

  • “Hey, do you like young guys just for fun.” (I suppose it depends on what kind of fun. Shakespeare festival? Vaudeville night [like the one I’m performing in this weekend], kayaking?)

  • “HI YOUR SO PRETTY WUD LUV TO GET WIT U I WERE LOOKING AT YOUR PICS HIT ME WHEN GET A CHANCE WaNNa HoLlA AT U” (wud–, I’m sorry, would he really love to get with me? He doesn’t even know me. How on earth could he even conceive of what a relationship with me would be like at this early stage in the game?)

  • “Sexxxy!!!” (There’s something in the brevity I suppose I can appreciate, but what it has in succinctity, it lacks in substance.”)

So what does this mean? Are the browns just self-sabotaging themselves? Or is this more proof that it’s just a delight to be white? That you can be a dating master if you’re alabaster? That you’ll totally win if you have fair skin?

Or just that I should now step away from rhymezone.com?

Let us know what you think in the comments!

And since I like to write about dating, here’s some more:

Here’s a link to the whole article.

What do you think?


  1. IMHO – I think many Blacks (even smart ones) just assume that every other Black (or brown) person is dumb and that every white person is innately smart.
    But a good example of the vapidity of most people (regardless of ones race) can be seen on any of the Real Housewives shows.

  2. “The thing I find fascinating about quantum electrodynamics and Feynman diagrams is…”

    That’s a sample of the really smart things I say when dating…

  3. I have spent a lot of time around many cultures and races and I can tell you with confidence, that they all speak horribly when they are in private settings.

    However I have noticed that some whites and Asians like to put up a front in public and try their best to put up a good first impression. I work with “Rappers” and “Athletes” and “Business Men” and they all sound the same in private but the business guys smart up in public and the others dumb down…

    Some Black People on the other hand believe in “Keepin it real” Basically no faking or fronting, just let it all hang out and be who you are. I actually love this, especially since “who I am” is a wildly clever guy with a high IQ. So I use big words with a snazy vernacular and I don’t dumb it down for anyone.

    Black People like to dumb down their Intelligence in public settings because they don’t want to seem like “OREOS”

    Personally I don’t mind being the smartest guy in the room. I often enjoy it. I have had the luxury of being who I am and never being accused of Oreoism. Black People just need to find a balance a way to be “real” without being too dumb. Everyone just needs to get a bit more confidence and be themselves. When you are strong about who you are others around you will have to except that.

  4. oh and Aydrea, don’t tell people “New Words” get you hot.

    You will have every guy in town following you around with a thesaurus saying things like “chortle” “ossicone” and “rapacity”
    don’t be a Vocab Whore 😉

  5. succinctity??? brevity would be a better word, if you’re so inclined to change it =).

    Just stumbled across your blog from your youtube page from an anandtech post asking we comment and drown out racists from being racists =).

    Funny, interesting and expressive!

  6. I have read about this topic before and it makes sense. People tend to stick to their own or what is familiar because they are more comfortable. But what happens to those of us who have, say, a broader scope of interests that would be deemed “not Black”?? For example, I like hiking,rock climbing and have an interest in camping,long distance running and birdwatching. Based on those interests, I’m pretty sure that I would not be paired with Ray Ray or Tyrone. When I was on the dating scene– WM would try t speak to me in what they perceived as my native language of “Ebonics.” Or assume that I only listen to rap, watch BET all the time and like to drink Colt 45. Stereotypes can prevent people from really getting to know each other because it’s harder to step out of that comfort zone.

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