color blind casting

Teasing from Teasers

Happy he's not an RBP

Playing with a new title, because that’s exactly what teasers do…Fun little pokes in the ribs to remind you of fantasy and fun. Teasers definitely tease the Oreo by showing them exactly what they’re working toward and what — with enough wassail-laced hoilday caroling parties and overtimes at hockey games — might be theirs!

Let’s take a look at what’s opening this weekend and see what we learn about how much more fun it is to not be an RBP (click here for definition).

The Chronicles of Narnia  – Voyage of the Dawen Treader: The wardrobe kids are at it again

  • Stuff White People Seem Do In This Movie – join the military, reprimand their brothers, fell out of place in the real world, nearly drown in a painting, sail beautiful ships, look like Keanu Reeves, be evil, be good, dream of what could be. 
  • Stuff Black People Seem Do In This Movie – Do not appear. And I guess that makes sense. There probably weren’t a ton of people in that era of that part of England. You know, the era where paintings came to life and kids were besties with lions.

The Tourist – Europe is Sexy and Dangerous and Sexy!

  • Stuff White People Seem To Do In This Movie – have sexy affairs, wear sexy dresses, wear sexy suits, have sexy accents, drive sexy boats, flutter their sexy bedroom eyes, get caught up in sexy adventures of mistaken identity.
  • Stuff Black People Seem To Do In This Movie –

I guess it’s to be somewhat expected. I mean, people tend to make movies about themselves, starring themselves. The Tourist director, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck is German, so it makes sense that he’d make a movie about vaguely British people played by Americans with affected accents.

The Fighter – Marky Mark and Christian Bale – effing tough and effing hot.

  • Stuff White People Seem To Do In This Movie – joke around with their siblings, box, train hard, have daughters, have difficult families, have dreams, train boxers, work in bars, insult women, defend women, lose the fight, lose hope, make sports deals, turn their backs on their families, go to jail, reconcile with their families, triumph.
  • Stuff Black People Seem To Do In This Movie – pose an intimidating threat, beat the shit out of the hero, get beaten by the hero, work in jail.

The Tempest – Oh, Julie Taymor with your eccentricities

  • Stuff White People Seem To Do In This Movie – conjure storms and fire, sail ships, be spirits, fall in love, perform Christopher Marlowe’s Shakespeare’s comedy, take revenge, make potions, turn into birds, dress in drag, enjoy a little homoeroticism, dance like nobody’s watching.
  • Stuff Black People Seem To Do In This Movie – I’m not sure exactly, but he seems to be giving advice or having a mud bath go terribly wrong.

Hmmm, maybe I should add “actor” to the list of jobs that it’s cool for an Oreo to have.

Seeing anything this weekend? What’ll it be?

Also, not to be a bad Oreo, but the last time I read Shakespeare, it kind of made my head explode. I remember it being so easy in high school. What happened? (Though I make up for it a bit in this video.) When I go back and check out The Scarlet Letter, will I be equally as surprised at how not-easy it is to skim through?

Depardieu? More like Depar-do more for us!

French actor Gerard Depardu is getting his beret handed to him because he is playing mixed race writer Alexandre Dumas in a movie

M. Dumas wrote such classics as The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers. Also, he was the of color grandson of a Haitian slave. But thanks to French cinema, Dumas will largely be remembered by the current generation as a white dude. Though Depardieu sports a tan and curls his hair, his European heritage proudly shines through.

So chin up, Oreos. Though you may spend your life being black, do enough and Hollywood may reward you by lightening your legacy with clever casting.

This issue comes up every now again, like when Angelina Jolie played  widowed and of color writer Marianne Pearl. 

But just like Mickey Rooney’s performance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, sometimes, you put someone in a role just because they’re the best person for it, or maybe because you can’t find the right person of color, or part color for the job.  So, sorry Leila Ariceri, Saili Richardson, Michael Michelle, Giancarlo Esposito, Jennifer Beals, Thandie Newton, Vin Diesel, Shemar Moore, Lisa Bonet, Jasmine Guy, Rashida Jones, Kidada Jones, Karyn Parsons, Mowry twins, Tatyana Ali, Rae Dong Chong, Victoria Rowell, Boris Kodjoe, Lonnett Mckee, Rain Pryor, Troy Beyer, Carmen Ejogo, Nicole Lyn, Taimak Guari, Tracee Ellis Ross, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Gloria Reuben, Clark Johnson, Rosario Dawson, Cree Summer, Mario Van Peebles, Maya Rudolph, Tammy Townsend, Sherri Saum, Gina Ravera, Tamara Taylor, Jaye Davidson, Rachel True, Stacy Dash, Maya Davis and Persia White. 

While collectively you guys may have strong roles in television and film, write satire, speak German, sing opera, write indie music, are the daughter of royalty, produced fashion shows, speak Spanish, develop groundbreaking comedy, dance ballet, win national pageants and bring home Oscars, you’ll have to content yourselves with those things. Because when it comes to portraying actual and historic figures, some folks just do it better. 

It’s just like the way your stories about high school change and morph over the years. Ten years out and according to you, you weren’t nearly as awkward as you probably were. I mean, how would you rather remember history? Accurately, or comfortably?

Eh, close enough