By now, you may be thinking that your friends, business associate or tennis partners may be Oreos. But be careful, just because a person of color says something telling like: “Hey, there’s my Young Repbulican’s pin!” doesn’t mean that that person is a real Oreo.  Anyone can fake it for a minute. (And if any of you dated my ex-boyfriend Trevor, you know all about faking it…for just a minute.)

So, before determining if that Redwing season ticket holder in the box next to you is in fact a true Oreo, it’s helpful to check to see if they have any of these items in their possession. 

Dutch Language Books and Tour Guides

That’s right. The country who brought the world the Swarte Pieten is the country’s whose language I’ve chosen to study.

Pictures Taken While Skiing

All I needed was one other black person on the slopes to make me feel like I had denied my Oreo heritage and was actually engaging in something “my people’ did with regularity. Luckily, that did not happen and I enjoyed my hot vanilla while basking in the sun reflecting off the skin of the other skiers.

Franklin Covey Organizers

Nothing says corporate American, rigid and overcompensation like The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

An iTunes Full of Showtunes

As discussed earlier, this is a necessity. Why? Because the musical is a distinctly American art form. And because of that, it has wonderful undertones that keep your average African American consumer from consuming too many of them. Remember, this is a medium that hailed Al Jolson as a treasure…a performer who “didn’t feel like himself” unless he was in blackface.

Sunscreen

Just in case my wildest dreams come true.