WHITEPAL and OREOWRITER drive on two different stretches of highway, chatting via Bluetooth. STATIC can be heard on both ends of the line. Both strain to hear the other.
WP: …I don’t know. I think I sound like a wigger in your blog.
OW: You may have a way with words, not unlike Daniel Webster, but you’re no elitist.
WP: …What?!
OW: You’re no elitist. Definitely not a Whig.
WP: Really? A Whig Party reference?
OW: I could hardly hear you…Now it’s clear…Is “whig” not what you said?
WP: No. I said “wigger.”
OW: Ohhhhh, right…(pause)..wait…like the porch furniture?