The musical Hamilton is an amazing, wonderful, terrific…conundrum for an Oreo.

How does a belter Oreo daughter of a hermit and a
an alto dropped in the middle of a
confusing spot in the zeitgeist by providence,
with confidence in her voice
Grow up inside this moment and make the right choice

I’ll tell ya, it’s tricky.

One one hand, Hamilton is a Broadway musical–a totally Oreo-Approved genre of music. I think the only thing typically whiter than a Broadway musical is my singer/songwriter station on Pandora (don’t you take my Rich Voisine away from me). This is the same genre that gave us anglo tastic pieces like Spring Awakening, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Jazz Singer. Hamilton fits squarely into this genre, so for that reason it’s a great listening choice for an Oreo.

I would enter every room like this if I could.

On the other hand, Hamilton is mostly made of rap.

But on another hand, Hamilton discusses some nice, dry Waspy dinner conversation topics: the Founding Fathers, the Treasury, best practices in shipping and receiving.

On the other hand, it’s mostly made of rap.

On yet a different hand, Hamilton is a totally hipster hero. He’s angsty, he got wealthy, but was still all bitter about shit. He had a great wife, but also dumb commitment issues. And look at that long curlyish hair. He defs rocked the man bun.

“What? You’ve never had a Pickleback? Ugh. Yea, it’s batch craft beer followed by a shot of small batch homemade dill brine. Which you have, right? No? Whatever, I’ll just have this absinthe.” –Alexander Hamilton

On the other hand, remember how much you loved loved LOVED Rent when it came out and you sat at home with your CD and ripped the book out of the jewel case and learned all the words and cried every time Mimi said “Goodbye Love!” and then you saw it like 15 years later and even though you were super stoked that Adam Pascal touched you on the shoulder when you met him backstage, you were like “this play isn’t as great as I remember and why don’t these folks maybe just get a part-time something at The Container Store or Chipotle or sign up with a temp agency until they can get back on their feet?” Yeah, think about that and the fact that Hamilton is mostly made of rap.

It was a special time, Adam, but you know the rules. One and done. We can no longer speak of that glorious day.

But Hamilton is also catchy, it’s fun, it’s infectious, and it’s not going anywhere. And since you love showtunes, you have no choice but to listen to it constantly. So an Oreo’s got to figure out a way to listen to it without being all RBP about it.

Because let’s be real a second. –for just a millisecond. Let your guard they’ll see you spit a million beats per second. And that’s gonna change how they see you. No longer will you be a very special unicorn, you’re gonna be just like Leticia over there. With her braids and self-confidence. Hashtag, uncomfortable. So here are a few ways that you can enjoy this moment in musical history, but still keep yourself in good standing as an Oreo.

Alone

Look, we all have those things that we do when no one else is looking. And we’re totally okay with it. You’re not mad that no one sees you cut your toenails by using your other toenails. So there’s no reason not to play dumb at Karaoke and stick to your Carrie Underwood and Disney Princess songs instead of jumping in when the group goes all Guns and Ships on you. When you get back in your car, and far away from they prying eyes of people who know you, you can crank up Ten Duel Commandments in case you need to remember what to do if anyone claims they think you know how to flow.

Via King George or Eliza

There are a few songs in this show that don’t involve rap. If you must quote the show in front of other, do it with these tunes. That Would Be Enough or the many reprisals of You’ll Be Back capture great moments in the show without having to be all ethnic with their wordplay. An untrained ear might even think you’re singing Sondheim or Schwartz. Choose these songs and you won’t feel so embarrassed that you wonder if your hot blushing cheeks will buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnn!

Live

If you can afford the $15,002,389,047,208,093,790 dollar tickets, you are 1%ing the shit out of life right now and have definitely achieved some serious Oreo status. Also, please be my best friend. I don’t love touching, but I’m a bangup pet sitter!

Ohmygod, let’s talk about Hamilton! What’s your favorite song? Where were you the first time you heard the show? Do you think it’s cute and just a tiny bit scary the way Lin-Manuel squeezes his elbows into his ribs every time he gets on a roll.

Let us know in the comments!

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