offensive ads

5 Things Guys Hate (Is it True, Fellas?)

I was watching some footage of fellas recently and learned some shocking things. Guys seem to not be able to handle very much at all.  It must be so tough. So guys, what exactly is wrong with…

1. Women who care about them. Here’s Klondike rewarding a guy for listening to his horrible boring parasite of a wife for waaaaaay too long.

2. Quality Shirts. Here’s JC Penny (thanks Sociological Images for the link) telling guys that if they just endure a few seconds of well-made clothing, they’ll get to stare a woman.

3. Women who care about them. Olympus finally has a solution to having to spend time with your terrible, soul-crushing romantic partner.

The ad says that with their camera, guys will “never get bored of how their girlfriend looks again.” Thank God someone figured out how to make us XX-chromosomed folk interesting! Geez! Can I get one of these filters to carry around with me? I can only imagine how tedious it must be to look at me in passing. Apologies guys, really. From the bottom of my boring boring heart.

4. Respecting People. Here’s Dodge giving men a getaway vehicle so they can run the hell away from their shittastic lives where they are forced by harpies to be considerate.

5. Women Who Care About Them. In order to get men to buy milk, The California Milk Processor’s Board showed us not how milk is a healthy thing that helps prevent bone loss and teeth shattering, but how it can be a way for men to avoid talking to their partners. Because if she’s upset, it’s obviously because of some wackadoo hormone issue. And that’s scrrrry!

I, for example, have never been upset because as a human, I experience a range of emotions and sometimes become frustrated because of a misunderstanding. At least drinking this glass of milk helps me keep my lady mouth shut, so my boyfriend doesn’t have to run away in terror. Or eat himself to obesity on ice cream sandwiches.


You could say that these are just flukes and aren’t indicative of anything in particular. Except that the companies who put these out are some of the biggest out there. A whole lot of people had to approve these ad concepts and believe them to be viable ways to sell their products.

They must not consider them to be wildly insulting to women, since clearly we exist to either annoy or titillate men. And they must not consider them to be insulting to men who apparently can’t make a decision without staring at some boobs first; or who have no desire to communicate with the boobs they’re staring at ever.

Fer serious, tho: Guys, do you find ads like this insulting? Do you ever get sexy-fatigue? I mean how many impossibly hot girls can you stare at in one lifetime? Are you a guy who doesn’t mind chatting with his partner every now and then? Or are women really that terrible? Why are you so afraid of us? Let us know in the comments.


For more fantastic ads that were definitely not ill-conceived, check out this sampling featuring Nivea, Dove and some hands dressed up like ham wallets.


For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

An Open Letter to Black Guy Behind Nivea’s “Racist” Ad

Dear Alleged Black Guy Behind the Nivea ad,

I was shocked and appalled when I saw this …

…And then read about the hubbub that soon followed.

What on earth is offensive about this? Black men with goatees and natural hair are totes uncivilized. I mean just look at these cretins.

Imagine waking up to that mess every day. Barf!

They're only giving him that award so he'll stop shooting up ho's.

Guess who's NOT coming to dinner...that is the guy from that movie, right?


Sure he was smart and classy enough to say this quote: "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. " But jeez! You think he'd have enough sense to not look so ridic when he said it.

If the rumors are true, potential black ad exec, you, sir, are my hero. I have been trying to explain this simple concept for like ever! RBP are scrrrry! I have been working to put this in words for years now. Thank you for putting into easy-to-understand pictures.

Equally smart are the differences between the white version of this ad and the Oreo-tastic one. Of which, there are 3.

  1. The white corpse face is actually a lot more unkempt than the black one and also doesn’t have eyeballs. This makes it more extreme and less human looking. It really does look like he’s playing with Buffalo Bills’ leftovers.
  2. The RBP face is angry…you know, like RBP are. And has eyes, so it actually looks like a person–the kind of person that with the help of God and all the angels, I will never be.
  3. Also, you didn’t say that the white dude was uncivilized, just that he looked messy. Good call on calling out the black guy’s entire character, while understanding that when a white person looks like they were beaten to death with the unkempt stick, that it’s just a bad day.

Yup. Three.

And look, I get it. You have way too much to do than consider the potential ramifications of the images you are creating and asking society to get on board with. I’m sure that between you, your team, the artists who did the concept art, all of your assistants and production personnel, the executives at Nivea itself, their production team, the photographer and the team who took these photos and the digital artists who made it all pretty, you just don’t have enough time to say “hmmm, I wonder if this is sending a weird message.”

I mean, I barely had time to type that and I’m no where near the busy-ness level of a big time ad mogul. And as we discussed in this video, people just have too much shiz to do to worry about EVERY LITTLE THING they say or do.

Thanks again for keeping the Oreo fight going!!

Have an awesome weekend. Maybe I’ll see you at the club?

PS. Do NOT worry about all the flack over this. You’re in good company! Here are some other ads that got their creators in trouble when they just shouldn’t have!



Here’s the Dove ad that turns you into a pretty white chick if you’re unfortunate enough to start off a a cute black girl. Look how nice the blonde is! Who wouldn’t want to be her?

Here’s Sony explaining how neat it was that their PSP now comes in white.

Here’s documentary by Klondike about a woman who married the biggest douchebag in creation reminding us how horrible it is to have to listen to women talk. But the good news is that you get a shiny ice cream if you can endure for just a few nut-crushing seconds.

Folks got all in a tizzy because Dolce & Gabanna dared to show women what we might wear right before being roofied and invited to the local gangbang.

And Nike was  good remind us that while athletes can be lauded for their dedication to perfection, their endurance, their years of focus, determination and self-sacrifice, if they’re a lady, we can always applaud them for something else! (Oh and women are happy to work out because they LOVE SHOPPING!!!!–read the text if you don’t believe it’s true).

And poor Burger King got raked across the coals for clarifying where the sandwich goes?



What do you think? Are ads like this too much? Or just what we need to keep the self loathing in place?

Let us know in the comments!


For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!

Talking Vagina Hands Are Big Douchebags

Huzzah! Summer’s Eve found a way to make women hate both their skin colors and their lady junk!

But BOO! Thanks to Fourth Estate outrage, the ads were pulled.

Yup. That's what Summer's Eve thinks a vagina looks like.

The douche company (literally, that’s not a slam) put out a series of ads where hands pretend to be vajayjays and extol the virtues of their completely unnecessary product that dangerously changes the ph levels inside of a very sensitive area leading to fun things like yeast infections and thus even more self-loathing while taking on the persona of various ethnicities, of course speaking with completely accurate, non-stereotype-tastic vernacular. I mean, when my squish mitten talks to me, it always says “Girrrrrrl” first.

I don’t think an ad campaign has made me shudder about my skin so much since McDonald’s PR geniuses said this on their website.

Like the unique African Baobab tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald’s has branched out to the African-American community nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.

Highlights of the videos included an African American pudding hatch gettin’ ready to go to da club and a Latino yippee bog saying things like “Ay yi yi” in an accent Speedy Gonzalez would be proud of.

And don’t worry, Blanchetourage members, they didn’t leave you out. The white ham wallet like totes wants to be BFFs!

The vids aren’t avail on youtube anymore, but thanks to, you can watch them here. Please do. It’s a real treat. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

UPDATE: A friend (who may or may not choose to remain nameless) found one of the vids on yt! Here it is. Until further notice (ie. more of my friends do the hard work for me), check out the other two vids at the link above.

NEW UPDATE: Summer’s Eve pulled the videos again and again, but here they are!! Again, courtesy of

Summer’s Eve may not know how to take care of ladies’ bodies, but at least they’re helping make more Oreos! If after watching the video any new converts have questions, start here and send me a message letting me know you’re in!(Special thanks to Bloodhound Gang for writing the following song and thus contributing largely to this post)

To see an ad make forced labor look like high fashion, check out this post.

And for another video requisite for Oreo training, click here.

What do you think of these vids? Did Summer’s Eve make the right move by pulling them? What does it imply they were made in the first place?

And in case there’s a fave euphemism of yours that I was not able to use above, let us know in the comments!


For Mor-eo Oreo: Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!