cops

Cop Claims “A Black Guy Shot Me”; Makes Case for Better Hair

We’ve talked here before about how important it is to wash, rinse and repeat the ethnicity out of one’s hair with a relaxer. But

Relaxed hair is not just easier to go into the pool with; it's your safety net!

now, thanks to a friend in Philly, we can see why in shocking detail.

The short story is, this cop was ticked off about his new beat. So, instead of filing a complaint or updating his resume on Monster, he did was made the most logical sense…he shot himself in the shoulder, then told his buddies that a black guy did it.

A cop had been shot; a manhunt was on. The block was cordoned off with yellow tape. Cops and SWAT teams fanned the streets. K-9 units scoured through brush. Some businesses were forced to close for five hours.

“The cops were questioning everybody,” Potts, 57, recalled.

Sgt. Robert Ralston, a 21-year veteran and father of five, said he’d been shot on patrol by a black man with “cornrows” and a “mark or tattoo under his left eye.”

Yesterday, the Overbrook neighbors were outraged to learn that it was all a lie.

This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Don’t like what you just did? Tell friends and neighbors that some black dude was responsible and soon the police tape goes up, few questions asked and you can get off pretty much scott free. Soon, your conscience will catch up to you and/or the lack of evidence will become clear, but not before you’ve enjoyed a few more minutes of freedom.

What makes this case a perfect reminder for proper hair care is that the cop told his friends that a guy with cornrows was his attacker. Cornrows are an obvious ethnic style worn by both men and women. And so, innocents with tightly braided hair were being stopped and questioned. But, any Oreos on the scene would have been left alone. With long, flowing locks of hair flapping in the breeze, from a distance, with a turtleneck and long sleeves on, Oreos might actually just look like curvy brunettes.

So keep that salve simmering on your scalp, kiddies. It will make the ride home much, much easier.

Oh, and for creating the stir that lost businesses money, kept people from their homes and scared the shit out of some innocents, you’ll be happy to know that Sgt. Ralston will not be criminally charged.

For more examples of how you can blame RBP for things you did…check out this list, courtesy of NewsOne.

Diary of a Mad White Black Woman – Cops Like Donuts, Not Oreos

Dear Diary,

I thought I was making more progress. But a slap on the wrist in front of the majority showed me how much work I still need to do and how I can never let my guard down for a second.

I had stopped off in West Hollywood to pick up some work from a client. I only left my car on the curb for a second and when I came back, a man with a badge and fancy flashing lights on his car was about to write me a ticket.

Thinking this could surely be cleared up sans city fine, I dusted off my pencil skirt, clicked my boot heels together and approached the nice man.

But as I pleaded my case, there was no sympathy in his eyes, no understanding, no pause to his pen and he kept writing. Then suddenly, a flash of recognition. He looked past me, nodded and put the ticket away.

What was behind me? My white client.

“Can we let this go,” Client said to the officer. “She didn’t know.”knight_m

Though I was relieved for my alabaster shield, my blanched bastion, my white knight, I was embarrassed and disappointed that I still needed one and that I’m still making newbie mistakes like this.

The ticket was for not angling my wheels at the curb. That’s what I didn’t know to do. Inexcusable.

I should have been ready for that. Parking on steep windy hills is part of privileged culture. I must remember these details if I am going to pass. It’s right up there with sending hand-written thank you cards and smiling through gritted teeth.

So it’s back to the books and away from the hills until I can conduct myself accordingly.