Matthew Gets Dreadlocks: A short play by The Oreo Experience

Matthew Gets Dreadlocks: A short play by The Oreo Experience
Based on true events

 

INT. PERFECTLY NORMAL CONFERENCE ROOM IN A PROFESSIONAL SPACE – DAY
The Oreo Experience finishes some emails on her laptop while other people file in.

THIS ONE GUY:
Did y’all see that Matthew got dreadlocks?

THIS ONE GIRL:
I did!! It’s crazy!

THIS OTHER GUY:
I can’t believe he just did that. I mean, it looks cool, I guess. But, it’s so different.

THIS OTHER GIRL:
How do dreadlocks even work?

A quiet beat.

All heads turn, nearly in unison, toward The Oreo Experience as she looks up from her laptop.

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
Are we waiting for Margot to join, or are we just getting started–
(then, off their looks)
–What?

THIS ONE GUY:
Like how do they work?

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
How does what work?

THIS ONE GUY:
Dreadlocks.

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
I don’t know. So, is Margot–

THIS OTHER GUY:
I mean, it’s fake hair, right? Like Matthew had to get extensions, right?

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
I don’t know Matthew and I don’t know anything about his hair.

THIS ONE GUY:
You saw the tall guy with dreadlocks today, right? That’s fake hair, yeah?

THIS OTHER GUY:
It has to be. His hair was not that long, was it?

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
Are you asking me?

THIS OTHER GIRL:
Yeah, how does it work?

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
Look, I’m writing this down to make fun of this later, and I’m not even sure if it’s “dreds” or “dreads.” So maybe you should just google it?

THIS ONE GUY:
It’s not that serious, but like… how does it work?

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
I don’t have dreds…dreads…whatever. So I really don’t know.

The Oreo experience takes this opportunity to re-open her laptop and get back to work since this is how it’s gonna be.

THIS ONE GIRL:
Can you wash it?

THIS OTHER GUY:
I read that you can’t wash it.

THIS OTHER GIRL:
He doesn’t smell, so he must wash it, or something, right?

THIS ONE GIRL:
Like, how long does that take? Can you do it in a couple hours?

THE ONE GUY:
How long does it last?

THIS OTHER GUY:
How do you get it to grow in that shape?

THIS OTHER GIRL:
Is it soft? Like what does it feel like?

The Oreo Experience looks up, expecting to see people looking at other people. Nope. They’re still looking at her.

THE OREO EXPERIENCE:
If you really want to know, maybe you should just ask Matthew…directly?

THIS ONE GIRL:
Well no, I mean, I’m not going to be all weird or rude about it!

 

FIN

 

******

If you can answer any of these people’s questions about dreadlocks, please send me your responses and I will make sure they get delivered appropriately.

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5 comments

  1. So I guess like me, you never received your copy of the encyclopedia series “All things Black-related”. I’m a RBP, so sometimes I feel a little inadequate when I have no knowledge about things I’ve never done nor have any desire to do… patucularly since, as an educator, I’m expected to know stuff. But doggonit, there is so much diversity among Black folks that I just can’t keep up with it all. Maybe there is a copy of “Black Facts for Dummies” I can get my hands on.

    1. You know, I was out of town when UPS tried to deliver my copy of All Things Black Related. And they needed a signature (because it was so big and came with that 40). And they left that giant post-it that says you’re supposed to call them back to reschedule the delivery and I was so busy putting the finishing touches on my Sound of Music singalong costume (finally, the perfect Liesl!!) that I never got around to rescheduling…

      Buuuuuut…. OooOOOOooO!! Black Facts for Dummies…sounds like a great project to embark on!

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