They say “write what you know,” so I transcribed this interaction that happened like 6 days ago.
Characters:
The Oreo Experience – You know me. I love Renaissance Fairs. I’m not the best in social situations. I make a real effort to attend Edwardian Era dance classes.
Carl – An educated professional.
Harriet – A coworker who I know reads this blog. Hi “Harriet!” Feel free to correct any inaccuracies you see below.
INT. THE OREO EXPERIENCE’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON
THE OREO EXPERIENCE, CARL, and HARRIET enter TOE’s office, finishing a conversation.
HARRIET
Have you thought about acting?
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
Haha! Sometimes. I mean, I perform every now and then.
CARL
You could be in that movie where the girls all go to Vegas!
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
You mean Rough Night with Kate McKinnon! I would love that! Love her!
CARL
No, no. The other one. With the black girls.
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
Girls Trip?
CARL
Yeah! That one! You can be in that one!
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
Why can’t I be in Rough Night?
CARL
(incredulously. it’s important that the actor deliver this line with the amount of “duh” that was in the original)
Because they’re all white. You should be in the other one.
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
I would so be besties with Kate McKinnon.
CARL
You can’t hang out with Kate McKinnon.
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
I can definitely hang out with Kate McKinnon. I mean, I had a dream where she and I made out for like 17 minutes, so I think I’m good on the Kate McKinnon front.
CARL
You’ll just fit in better with the black girls.
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
…
CARL
What?
THE OREO EXPERIENCE
You know that I made a whole web series about how I dress up in Victorian gear and speak in an English accent whenever possible. Just gonna go out on a limb here and say that Rough Night might be the film for me.
The Oreo Experience then plays the following pieces for Carl.
The Oreo Experience closes her browser window and turns back to Carl.
CARL
Huh. Well, maybe after you finish working on that, they’ll let you be in Girls Trip.
FIN
Discussion Questions:
- Considering both of these films are both completed and already distributed, should I be in Rough Night or Girl’s Trip?
- How are TOE’s steadfastness and commitment to composure first made clear in the play? In what ways, during the course of the play, is she the victim of her own habits? Are these features eventually responsible for her happiness or sorrow?
- What is the playwright suggesting about capitalism?
- Discuss Winston as an heroic icon. What qualities help him define his own role?
- Do you think Harriet should have had more lines?
- What does the cherry orchard signify?
- Have you started following Black Girl in a Big Dress on Facebook, Insta, or Twitter? Why or why not?
The Oreo Experience 
In the rural southern high school I attended, Carl would have been cut with a box cutter and considered to have gotten off lightly. As for Rough Night, there is still time to be in the inter-racial anal porn version of the movie especially if you bring some development money.
Listen, whatever it takes to make that big-screen break, amiright??
Ummm… if Carl is educated, his brain must so full that he doesn’t have room for additional information in his knowledge base. He obviously didn’t have room for what you told him. After you showed him the videos I’m surprised he didn’t suggest you audition for a role in Gone With The Wind.
Still looking forward to Black Girl in a Big Dress.
Right?? I would have fit right in in GWTW!!
And thank you!! I’m looking forward to it, too!
I am a white man in Pittsburgh and I have never met you before and I love you. Just half an hour ago I wondered “Has anyone ever gotten the operetta wrong and called it A Mall and the Night Visitors?” A search led me here and I am thoroughly delighted. The humor I’m seeing here is magnificent. I had that dream about making out with Kate McKinnon myself! (I don’t think she’d be into me, though.) My high school principal was a model Oreo and could be a bit hard to take because he was in “inspirational speaker” mode all the time but he was quite sweet. In these gloomy times you are greatly appreciated. I plan to be back.
Hahaha Oh my gosh! It’s like I’m in your office discussing this again! Definitely accurate!
-Harriet