So apparently, even when you’re diagnosed with a medical condition that affects only the fairest of the fair (tl;dr version: I have a gluten allergy that allegedly only affects people of Scandinavian descent) and you’ve been medically determined to be officially white on the inside, you still get tons of questions like:
- “Remember that part in Roots?”
- “Are you sad that the girl from Beasts of the Southern Wild didn’t win? How do you pronounce her name?”
- “Love your bangs! Did you do that because of Michelle?”
- “Seriously? You don’t like mustard, mushrooms or sushi, you get mad when your salad touches your potatoes and you don’t consider yourself to be a picky eater?”
- “Has anyone told you that you look like Rhianna?”
- “Do you ever calm down for like one single minute?”
- “Did you see Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry’s Temptation brought to you by Tyler Perry by Sapphire?”
- “You’re afraid of the dark? What are you, 4?!”
So it’s time to tighten my Renaissance Faire corset, stick my pinky out at high tea, crack open that Augusten Burroughs and get my tickets to This American Life Live and lighten things up again.
Stay strong my Oreos. And let me know what you’ve been up to!