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MLK Day Oreo Awards – The Creamies Take on The Golden Globes

On this Martin Luther King Jr., Day, The Oreo Experience would like to take a minute to thank a hero of the black community for showing us just how far we can come…if we have the right (read: the white) support.

And thus, a Creamy goes to the Hollywood Foreign Press for the Golden Globe they gave Sandra Bullock last night for her performance in The Blind Side. Breakout work by an unknown, but raw and heartfelt new talent Gabourey Sidibe, be damned (or for that matter, the ever-regal Helen Mirren, too). We need more white people to the rescue.

A follow up Creamy goes to the Hollywood Foreign Press for giving Mo’Nique a Golden Globe for her performance as a horribly abusive ghetto mom, and thus reminding us how terrible it is to be of color. They could have awarded Morgan Freeman for playing Nelson Mandela or Chiwetel Ejiofor for playing a smart and clever and thoughtful villain.

But, when they keep things consistent and reward of colors for portraying their worst and the ruling class for portraying their best, it really helps keep us Oreo hopefuls motivated. Thanks, HFPA. And by all means, don’t feel the need to cut your speech, our orchestra won’t play you off for a while.

PS…did you notice? Four of color nominees total (including all other categories if you’re curious, but not counting Penelope Cruz). Three of those four playing something/someone negative or frightening and/or unwelcome in your average saddlery. See, sucks to be an RPB.

Ten reasons for Oreos to enjoy Yom Kippur and other Jewish holidays.

 

 

It’s not just the fact that we get to think about what’s wrong with us that makes Yom Kippur an important holiday for an Oreo.

 

There are at least nine other reasons why Oreos should pull up a seat next to our Jewish friends, twist our freshly pressed hair into side curls and join them in celebrating the Day of Atonement. 

 

 

1. We can eat fried foods without being all stereotypetastic about it. Let’s hear it for kreplach.

 

2. Being a kosher Oreo leads to fun new words like “Koshoreo.”

 

3. Fasting makes people too weak to notice what you look like.

 

4. Circumcision is probably as painful as a relaxer.

 

5. Communing with former slaves is okay when they can pass for white.

 

5. “Shana Tova” sounds much better than “What up shawty.”

 

6. On the Day of Atonement, Jews celebrate the fact that G-d will forgive the sinful nature of their humanity, present at birth, and give them a fresh start for another year. Oreos can celebrate, too, the fact that a chosen few of the privilege class will forgive us the nature of our birth.

 

8. Sammy. Davis. Jr.sammy_1

 

9. The bitter herbs eaten at meals will taste much like your overly controlled soul.

 

10. We are in the Jewish year 5770. More than 3000 years ahead of the mainstream calendar. Maybe in a parallel Jewish universe, we are equally ahead in society and we don’t have to work so hard to blend in–by 5770, it should come naturally.