I was so happy this week to finally be graced with my shiny, brand spanking new Restoration Hardware catalog in all it’s 12-lb glory!
If you haven’t gotten it yet, you’re in a for a treat! An eco nightmare of a treat, but what’s life without a little waste?
#blessed
(source)
If you have gotten it, I’m assuming you’ll be reading this post when you come out of your polished nickel daze and will need to know what to do with that mound of quasi-recyclable paper once you’ve finished dog-earing all that needs to be dog-eared.
Take care. The placement of said catalogue in your home will speak volumes about who you are, where you’ve come from and who you wish to be. So lay it down with care. And feel free to use this guide.
Where you put it:Front Step
What you’re saying: “I’ve come home too late to notice this dark grey brick” or: “I can be bothered to fix the broken slate, so this’ll do.”
Where you put it: Book-ended on the Art Deco table in your foyer
What you’re saying: “Please wait here. I’ll be with you shortly and I hope that you remain in the utmost comfort until I return. Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind taking off your shoes.”
Where you put it: On the distressed teak coffee table in your living room.
What you’re saying: “We’re low on coasters.”
Where you put it: Atop the subway tile counter top in your breakfast nook
What you’re saying: “It’s best if we don’t speak to each other during meals. I’m sure you agree.”
Where you put it: Stuffed into your tall vase, the one with the long sticks.
What you’re saying: “I just want you to understand something. I’ve made it. No one has tall vases with sticks unless they’ve made it.”
Where you put it: In the box with tear-outs from your House Beautiful subscription and Persian Pear wallpaper swatches.
What you’re saying: “No, no, everything’s fine. I’m just re-doing this other bedroom to make more of a space for myself. We’re not sleeping in separate rooms so much as I just end up working late and don’t want to wake him when I–did you want a drink?”
Where you put it: Under the absinthe fountain
What you’re saying: “Listen, everyone has problems.”
Where you put it: Hanging from your abalone chandelier
What you’re saying: “What’s the point of having something–be it a piece of lighting, a vintage celery dish, or a fight–if you’re not going to draw a little attention to it?”
Where you put it: In the drawer of your Dutch industrial bedside table
What you’re saying: “I only dream of paradise and cupcakes. What about you?”
Where do you put your most important stuff? And does anyone have a hookup to a cool vintage celery dish; I’m super hoping to find one. Let us know in the comments!
***************************
The Oreo Experience 
I thought only the furniture at Restoration Hardware that is gigantic. Apparently the company is run by giants. Who knew?
My restoration hardware catalog didn’t fit in the mailbox. I could barely lift the catalog up!
I prefer to shop at their store located near me but this is the first time their catalog was so voluminous.
I could use it for my abdominal muscle workout! Who needs an Equinox membership when I have the catalog for my abs routine?
Some people call me white, some people call me oreo. I am a Vegan Model. I am a member of the Vegan Elite. I am overcoming mortal boundaries. The truth is always stranger than fiction.
How’s the Catalogue-slash-ab workout going?