Sobbing at the Office is the Worst – 3 Tips for Faking Your Way Through The Day

Sometimes shit happens. And sometimes that shit happens during normal business hours. So sometimes, you’re going to have to alternate between finishing up a production report, blubbering in the bathroom, running to dailies, weeping at your desk, finishing up that last round of notes and managing to make it to wine club without looking like you’re doing your best impression of someone attending a wedding in Westeros.

(Spoiler alert, I juuuust started watching GoT, so get ready for references that are like 2 seasons behind)

Recently, I had one of those weeks. It’s the first time in 12 years that I haven’t had a pet of my own. Between January and April, I had to unexpectedly say goodbye to both of my two lovely ladies. Two very sweet kitties, ages 12 and 18, one of whom has been with me since my first week in LA and has tolerated a lot of moves, several crappy dudes, and all the times I sing soundtracks at her pretending she’s the Tony Award voter that I must impress.

Is this the biggest tragedy to befall someone? No, but I’m sure that when my family dies in a horrible accident, I’ll be sad then as well, but for now this is what I’m working with. Calling the vet between meetings only to be met with worse and worse news is no bueno, so suffice it to say, there were some tears.

Just call me Katless Everdeen. (source)

Just call me Katless Everdeen.

Luckily, the Oreo Lifestyle (TM)  is all about stuffing your face feelings when stress levels get high. So here are my favorite tips for dealing with bad private news in a big public place.

Hay isn’t just for horses.
Next time you’re at the Equestrian Center, bring back a few bales of hay to stick in your office. Suddenly, you have a nice rough luxe decor happening and the allergens present in the dried grasses will justify your red eyes.

Home cooked meals.
Onions are notoriously rough on the eyes. So if you’re having a bad day, bring some raw ingredients to use for lunch prep. Onions are helpful on two fronts. One, they’ll make your eyes water, thus hiding your own tears and two, the smell will keep people away so you can weep in peace. So next time you’re prepping meat pies for Ren Fest, keep a couple of those bulbs back for your next bad day.

Go Green!
Direct sunlight isn’t only good for reducing eye strain when reading papers. Open enough windows and you can blame your teary eyes on how bright it is. And who are you to go against your company’s goal of reducing its carbon footprint. Plus, if your windows are positioned in the right way, you’ll get a great rim light on your face so that if you do get caught misty-eyed, at least you’ll look super photo ready. Don’t have windows? No problem. When you make your next Restoration Hardware run, just pick up one of these lovelies, throw in some energy-efficient bulbs, and stare into it for a few minutes. Your office and countenance will look divine!

Beautiful. Just like the feelings no one can ever see (source)

Beautiful. Just like the feelings you can’t express

What are your favorite tips for faking how you feel? Let us know in the comments!

Also, let’s say I’m really not going to go back and watch the first two or three seasons of Game of Thrones. What do I most need to know?


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  1. You have my deepest empathies on the loss of your kitties. I wish I had some advice about how to cover the tears, but honestly I’m at the point where I’m about to get a mourning veil/arm band so people will be warned that I could burst into tears at any given moment.

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