So it’s been almost two weeks since my last post. This is due in part to the fact that a pile of freelance (yay!) has fallen into my lap and is happily nibbling away at my writing time.
It’s also due in part to the fact that this has been the conversation between myself and my inner writer self over the last coupla weeks:
TheOreoExperience: Wow! This Kony video is nuts! It’s got White People to the Rescue written all over it! It would totally make a good Trailer Trashing post.
InnerWriterSelf: You’re right. Way to be on top of things. I can’t wait to see what we come up with!
TOE: Just let me finish this work. I’m sure I’ll get that post out by the end of the week
IWS: You’re amazing. I’m so glad we’re working together.
A FEW DAYS LATER
TOE: Holy crap, that dude just had a nervous breakdown!
IWS: Wellllll…. true. But you make fun of people all the time. And the Kony 2012 video is still weird.
TOE: Yeah, but dude is messed up. Even if I did have a post up, I’d probably want to take it down. Poor thing.
TOE: I mean, child soldiers are pretty much 100% a bad thing…even if the guy bringing them to our attention is oddly narcissistic…he meant well.
IWS: Don’t worry, we’ll find something else to write about!
TOE: Is it weird that I talk to myself this way?
IWS: Of course not!
TOE: Woah! I can’t believe that woman said that to me after class. Ugh! I just want to come in here, Zumba a bit and leave without someone saying something like “So jealous of you sisters! You’ve got such great hips!”
IWS: Doesn’t she know how long it took us to be okay with those hips?!?
TOE: Ugh. She has no idea. I’m exhausted tonight, though, and have like 3 scripts to get through. I’ll bang that post out in a few days.
IWS: Haha. You said “bang.”
TOE: Haha! Oh, get this…I totally made my coworker blush. He asked me if I had any food at my desk…
IWS: And you said “no, but I do have something you can eat!”
TOE: You know me so well!
A FEW DAYS LATER
IWS: Did you see this Trayvon Martin story?!?!
TOE: I can’t even think about it!!
IWS: C’mon, you HAVE to write about this. I mean, this is like your whole thing.
TOE: I can’t even read a story about it without bursting into tears. And I’m pretty sure there’s nothing funny about it.
IWS: The Daily Show managed to make it funny.
TOE: The Daily Show also has a staff of like two-dozen writers who out-earn me by a factor of probably 20!
IWS: Are we fighting right now?
TOE: No, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.
IWS: I don’t believe you. You seem upset.
TOE: I just feel like sometimes you aren’t hearing what I’m saying. I DO want to write about this story, but it’s fucking sad as balls.
IWS: Haha, you said–
TOE: Not the time.
IWS: You’re right.
TOE: Let’s just move on. What are you doing this weekend?
IWS: I dunno. Wanna check out Hunger games?
TOE: You know what, I still have a ton of work to get through, maybe next week?
IWS: I liked the book!
TOE: Me, too! Kinda bummed that even with so much going on in the book and such a great story, they still felt the need to inject some semblance of a love story into the end.
IWS: Yeah, I hear that. So…we’re cool?
TOE: Yeah, totally. Talk tomorrow.
IWS: Wake up! Wake up! Did you see this?? Racist Hunger Games tweets, we HAVE to get on that!
TOE: Holy god, it’s so early! Don’t you sleep.
IWS: I’m a disembodied manifestation of your sense of self, of course I don’t sleep.
TOE: Fair enough. Oh geez! These tweets are nuts! And what the eff? Rue is totally described as being black in the book. Did they just miss that?
IWS: Dude! Why are you not writing like crazy right now?
TOE: I don’t even know what to say!
IWS: C’mooooooon! Do it!!
TOE: Wait, let me get this straight… You want me to make an hilarious observation about how teens can’t read and how they don’t seem to know how the Internet works and that we’ve lost the basic sense of etiquette that we’re taught when we’re kids to not say horrible mean things out loud…and maybe draw an equally knee-slapping parallel between the fact that people didn’t like Rue because she was black and the fact that a good chunk of the country is totally unsympathetic to the needless death of an unarmed kid? That’s what you want me to pull out of my ass right now?? I’m a writer, not a magician!
IWS: It was just a suggestion.
TOE: Oooh, there might be something in this Geraldo non-pology, though. Yeah, between that and the Belvedere ad and Lee Arohnson… I think I might have something.
IWS: I knew you could do it.
TOE: Also, I’m kinda getting tired of the “let me tell annoying politicians about my vagina” meme. Does that make me a bad feminist?
IWS: That’s a whole other part of your subconscious you’ve got to deal with for that one.
TOE’sInnerFeminist: Did someone call?
TOE: Coffee first, then self-analysis.
TOEIF: That’s fair. Btw… I have a story that would make a GREAT screenplay! Can I tell you about it??
IWS: Yikes!… Um… coffee first.
Talking to yourself doesn’t make you crazy, right? Right?? I blame the habit on the fact that I was an only child.
Fingers crossed, I’ll get to this Geraldo/Belvedere/2.5 Men thing this week
What internal struggles do you find yourself chatting with you about on the regular? Let us know in the comments.