Awkward Conversations

This week, I’ve  had three interesting Oreo-related conversations. One of them really rubbed the wrong way. Transcripts are below. Unless otherwise indicated (or me), all speakers are white…natch. 🙂

Monday – during lunch

OreoExperience: “How was the college tour this weekend?”

Friend: “So, he decided against San Diego State. And I’m so glad! When we went there, there were so many Asians! I mean, who is my son going to hang out with when there’s nothing but Asians in the engineering school?”

I mean, just look how awkward this guy is. I would hate to be stuck in a library -- or on a time jumping island -- with this hottie, er...Asian

Tuesday – at the gym

Friend: “I just talked to Manuel–the guy who cleans the cafe up here–for the first time.”

OreoExperience: “Cool. He seems really nice.”

Friend: “He is. He’s been married for 15 years and he has a son.”

OreoExperience: “Lovely.”

Friend: “Yeah. And I was especially glad to hear that he only had one son. I mean, Mexicans have such big families and he obviously can’t support them working at that job.”

With the right conversation, this is not the only place you'll feel pain after spin class.

Wednesday – outside reception at work

OreoExperience: Thanks for bringing the release forms, I’ll get them to the right person for you.

NewWriter: Thanks, I appreciate it.

OreoExperience: Are you new to LA or have you been here a while?

NewWriter: Just a couple of years. I was doing production before and only recently started writing.

OreoExperience: Cool. Well good luck! It’s a tough business, but it’s pretty awesome.

NewWriter: Yeah. I have this one friend who’s Nigerian. And he told me about how when he goes in for meetings, people really intimidated by him and expect him to be like stereotypically black or something. Like he writes regular comedy, but they expect him to sound like Tyler Perry.

How. Dare. He?? My week was going so well!! 😦

Friend had the decency to not notice that I was also brown (on the outside) and therefore might be thrown off by stories filled with stereotypetastic overtones. She didn’t think for one second that while she was sad that her son would be the “only one” of him at his new school, that I might have little sympathy for that because I have pretty much been the “only one” in every school I’ve ever been to ever. shhh, black! YAY!! My Oreo work has paid off!! Bonus points because the disdain she intimated that she had for minorities reminded why I’m trying to hard to escape my ethnicity in the first place.

She got to dump about annoying things that people of color do; I got to validate my lifestyle choice. Everyone wins!

So thanks, NewWriter, for bursting my Oreo bubble. By attempting to compassionately connect with me about the bummers of racism, you shined a great big ol’ spotlight on my skin color that I have been (ironically) trying to keep in the dark for so long.


What was the last thing that someone said to you that rubbed you the wrong way–race related or otherwise. Bonus points if it was something from this blog. 🙂 Either way, let us know in the comments!

For more on Tyler Perry perils, click here.

For things people didn’t go ahead and say that I so wish they had, click here.

For conversations people wish TheOreoExperience  understood better, click here.

To see how to get started with your own Oreo lifestyle, click here.


For Mor-eo! Follow The Oreo Experience on Twitter (@oreoexperience)
Leave a comment here or at any of the above and let us know what you think!


  1. Years ago I auditioned to do summer theatre (Shakespeare spear carrier stuff) at a regional theatre in California. I was told they were going to go more ethnic with the parts I auditioned for. Fine. No problem. I got to see the shows and there was not one minority there. Not one. The guys in the supernumerary roles were taller and blonder than me.

    So the ethnicity they were going for was … Swedish? If I blew in the audition, tell me. Don’t bullshit me with a “going ethnic” line when it’s obviously not true.

  2. my dearest oreowriter, are you familiar with the great but short-lived network show, huge? produced by the woman behind my so-called life, it prominently features not one but two black women playing further from racial typecasting than i’ve ever seen on tv.

  3. I totally understand what she means. I mean, I’m Asian, and I live with these three white ladies. Well, I think one of them might be black, but the way she acts makes me pretty sure that she is one of those whites that tans really well. I can relate to “Friend’s” son, only in reverse. I’m surrounded by white people and I don’t have any Asians to hang out with.

    1. I’m really exctied to get your wonderful info and am looking forward to Spring and planting. We live in Lehi on the West side of the freeway just South of Thanksgiving Point. Are we on the same schedule as Pleasant Grove?? Thanks so much.

  4. Wait you didn’t get the “oh, I don’t mean you. You’re not like those others.” Your friends are definitely not up to Oreo standards. On a topic of hot asian men my wife loves Tim Kang from The Mentalist.

    Hmmm! So many to choose from. I remember the time my friend father was watching something and a black guy showed up on the telly and he screamed, “If I wanted to see some N… I’d watch some sports.” Then remembering that my 10 year old self was in the room he added, not you, you’re different. Proudly I can say my Oreo status was retained. Still there are thousands of examples in were my Oreo status was affirmed to the fullest. As my theme song goes, “Whose that chick with the Oreo cookie.” Dunk it, O-R-E-O.

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