Welcome to The Minority Report – a super quick movie review.
Rowing crews, elite secret societies and hedge funds, oh my!! It goes without saying that I was thrilled to see a movie who’s demographic, by virtue of the subject matter, location and protagonist, would be so homogeneous. And The Social Network did not disappoint. There are definitely no RBP at Harvard, or Stanford…BUT there IS one at BU, in case you need someone to intimidate your ex-boyfriend.
And when filling a bus full of girls to be used as tokens and prizes for well-educated kids of means, Asian is about as colorful as you should get.
Also, can we get a sequel that features just the Winkelvie…shirtless….and rowing…and shirtless.
What do you think? Much has been made about what some call sexism, what some call artistic portrayal in this movie. Are you on Sorkin’s side that says “look, these guys were kind of assholey and we wanted to show that.” Or are you on the truthier side that says “there were in fact contributing women important to the building of facebook, where were they in this movie? and how dumb are the girls in the flick that not only do they have no storylines of their own but they can’t even smoke pot correctly??”
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We all know that RBP love cripsy chicken products at a significantly higher rate than non colors. So it’s imperative that Oreos stay away from said food. Sometimes, however, eating chicken will be nearly unavoidable. Here are four ways that an Oreo can make eating chicken palatable.
- On someone else’s dime, quarter or gold Sacagawea head dollar. If the president of your boating society or captain of your rowing team or Young Republicans secretary is buying, go ahead and eat. But do so daintily. Avoid picking it up with your fingers, instead, use a knife and fork (cutting of course with your dominant hand and not switching the utensils when the slice has been severed) and remove any skin. This will clue your company in to the fact that while you can enjoy the meat, you eat it with only reasonable amount of happiness. And also, it will take so dang long for you to finish, they’ll never serve it again.
- With an alibi. When eating out with your tennis partner or bank manager, do be sure to start the meal by preemptively asking for alternatives. A well-timed “Ohh, I hear they have great Quiche here,” can do wonders! If chicken is the only option, you can eat it, secure in the knowledge that you did your part to avoid.
- Cordon-bleu. This is an acceptable way to eat chicken, provided you practice the pronunciation. It’s not “Cord-On-Bloo,” it’s more of a “Khor-duhn-bluh.” Say it right and a) no one will be totally sure what you’re saying and b) will be too blown away by your accent to notice the chicken part.
- At Chick Fil A. It’s fried chicken, for sure, but the company is owned by Mormons who have a…storied relationship with black people that involves of colors having historically been prevented from holding positions in the church because their dark skin proved they fought on the side of Cain in the great battle between God and the devil. That rules changed in the late 1970s, when the church caught up to the country and discovered that blatant racism was slightly out of vogue. They also encourage self-loathing in the gays–basically they do a lot to keep the mainstream mainstream and no matter how much we like RENT and The Green Party, the mainstream is the stream we’re all trying to swim in.
- In secret. With the ability to avoid any slips of the tongue, forgotten protocol or pictures that end up on facebook, this is really the best option.
This guy sets the bar pretty high for Oreos. He’s got it all working together–the classy job, the nice, but conservative suit, those neat, invisible-rimmed glasses, newspapers in front of him, opinions on current political affairs, an all-American sounding accent…and the ability to clench his jaw tighter than a virgin on prom night and still be polite.
In honor of my favorite holiday being only 28 days away, here’s a video about ghosts!
Have you figured out your Halloween costume yet? Lemme know in the comments! I’m torn between two options that are Oreo-tastic for very different reasons. More info as we get closer.
I got news today that my webseries,”We’re Seeing Someone,” was chosen to be part of the Mid-Atlantic Black Film Festival.
I know how it sounds. The Oreo Experience in a fest that promotes ethnic identity…but don’t look at it as selling out or giving in…but as a recruiting tool! (Besides, I think I do a good job of Oreo-ing it up in the series…except when I have to go on that date with the black guy…though he might a pretty good Oreo himself, what do you think?)
You can also be a part of the next big Oreo project by clicking here and making a pledge to become a backer. We’re more than half way to our goal and you can help put us over the top!!
Lemme know what you think!!
Fest is in Virgina, if I do make it out there, what should I in Norfolk?
And in all seriousness, thank you so much to MABFF and especially Michael Ajakwe for his support of this writer and of Internet entertainment.