Hi girls,

Normally, Oreo rules state that I just avoid eye contact with RBP and keep walking. But I think we have more in common that you might

Unless you have a team like this, just go with one dress size up.

think, so I wanted to send you a quick note to let you know that the dresses you were wearing last night while you waited for that bouncer to notice you are too small.

And trust me, I get the temptation that comes when you go through all the trouble pour yourself into a snug and unforgiving outfit. You just spent all that energy–you kind of just want to go with it.

I mean, whenever I go to a Renaissance Festival, I always want a front-lacing corset. They’re so cute!  But they are also less forgiving, so I suck it up–quite literally while someone laces me up from the back. It’s not that I can’t wear any corset, I just can’t wear certain ones. The same goes for you and those dresses. There are many that would be flattering. The ones you were wearing were not those.

Actually, you should come with me to a Ren Fest some time! I know you’re thinking that the girls standing outside of the club from which Toot It and Boot It was pumping might not be the gals who would enjoy a day full of 16th century costumes, food and Maypole decorating, but I saw those gnarly 6-inch gladiator heels you were wearing–so you’re obviously into torture devices. That’s half the fun of a Ren Fest! I’ll send you the evite.

-OW