The Minority Report – 2012

The End is Near...for type casting??

Welcome to The Minority Report – a super quick movie review…about movies that may or may not have come out recently.

2012

(I know, I know, but I LOVE terrible disaster movies–Twister, The Core – I heart you!)

So, back to 2012–WTF?? Black president AND a black super scientist who’s in charge of saving the world and the white family is the one that’s all messed up, dysfunctional with the quippy sassy lines?? Roland, what were you thnking?

If it wasn’t a wonderfully terrible disaster movie, I’d have to take this off the Oreo-approved list. Though, the galacially slow pacing for the first 45 minutes with the totally-rammed-in-there character beats might take it off the list anyway.

But how can you hate a movie where the continents roll around the globe like they’re on a SlipNSlide??

But be careful, Roland. The casting shows a healthy respect for folks of color. And that shot of Africa being the center of the world (again)? If that catches on, everyone will want to be an Oreo, and that will make me, by default an RBP.

You’re treading on thin ice. Thin, made-that-way-by-global-warming-and-Mayan-prophecy ice.

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7 comments

  1. I adored 2012, I really did. I love ridiculous disaster movies that are over the top and silly. I like to watch the crappy, horrid awful stuff that SyFy fills their Saturdays with. I blame it on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. They gave me a taste for crappy movies.

    However, I think you needn’t worry too much about it being Oreo-approved. The narrative focus was primarily on the white family.

    Of course, it sounded like (at the end there) Africa had mostly shifted up and escaped flooding. Obviously that has implications. 😀

    1. A guy I was dating was offered a part in Mega Piranha. I was so bummed that he wasn’t able to take it for scheduling reasons. I would have loved to have had a somewhat valid excuse to watch that more than once.

      1. Mega Piranha was a thing of beauty. Watching Tiffany ‘act’ was a shiny bonus. I’m just thrilled beyond belief that next year we get Tiffany and Debbie Gibson in one horrific trainwreck of a movie. It’s going to be awesome. 😀

      2. Sadly, in a year with films by Tim Burton, Martin Scorsese, Roman Polanski, Martin Campbell, and Chris Nolan, Mega Piranha is easily the most entertaining live-action film of 2010. Shocking, but true.

  2. Loved 2012 for the verbal sparring between Oliver Platt (long-beloved character actor) and Chiwetel Ejioforor (HUGE fan since Dirty Pretty Things, and someone who should eventually replace Craig as James Bond). Neither of them was completely right or completely wrong, and watching these two pros dominate a $260 million disaster film was a major kick. And yes, The Core is great. How can you not love any film with Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Stanley Tucci, DJ Qualls, Richard Jenkins, and Alfre Woodard all in one place, let alone a quirky, character-driven disaster picture with such a top-notch cast?

    1. My favorite thing about The Core (spoilers ahead…in case anyone cares) is how it took soooooo much time to get down to the core. But then, they realized they were out of time for a film, so after the nuclear blasts go off, there’s the “16 hours later” chyron. Wonderful. Whale songs saving our heroes–beautiful!

  3. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the fact that Africa was the only unaffected continent at the end…XD

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