It goes without saying that as an Oreo, I distance myself as far as possible from anything remotely of color.

I do feel guilty about my growing crush on Isaiah Mustafa, the Old Spice guy. I mean, first of all, he is black, so that’s strike one. Two, he was a football player–sooooo ethnic! And three, his name is like super ethnic. You’ve got “Isaiah” which just screams southern Baptist. And “Mustafa” is straight out of the Africa-based Lion King. *sigh*

I’m seeing someone about the IM issue.

But, sometimes, in order to exist in polite company, an Oreo has to dabble in things ethnic. Usually, you get Oreo points for not knowing anything about anything Kanye West has ever said or not being sure that a sporting event has taken place…unless it’s the All Whites playing.

However, sometimes, an event is so dumb big that you have to say at least something on the topic or you look less Oreo and more way too out of touch. So, thank you LeBron for forcing me to deal with the double ethnic blow of you and basketball.

I mean, look at him. He probably plays basketball, too, right?

Oooh! Do I get some of my points back for thinking that whenever someone said “Dwyane Wade” I didn’t know they were talking about one leg of a power triangle and instead thought they were mispronouncing Dwyane Wayne from A Different World? Sure, it was an ethnic show, but it proves that I’m clearly not up on ethnic culture today.

Oh, and here’s LeBron.

And Isaiah…call me.

(Video is mildly NSFW for language…and also NSFO for ethnicity)

What do you think of King James? His move? A Different World?