I read this article today in the Atlantic about a white guy hired by a Chinese business to be one of its in public faces. The company knew that you have to have the right look to get ahead. Apparently, it’s pretty big business over there.
“I call these things ‘White Guy in a Tie’ events,” a Canadian friend of a friend named Jake told me during the recruitment pitch he gave me in Beijing, where I live. “Basically, you put on a suit, shake some hands, and make some money. We’ll be in ‘quality control,’ but nobody’s gonna be doing any quality control. You in?”
And so I became a fake businessman in China, an often lucrative gig for underworked expatriates here.
And while an Oreo face might not give your company the international oomph it wants, there are some times when hiring an Oreo could come in handy!
- It’s your diversity photo shoot day at college and the football team is at an away game.
- You want to keep your Tea Party event safe from media scrutiny.
- You want to go to see the W. Kamau Bell curve. The one man show where if you bring a friend of a different race, you get in 2-for-1.
- It’s Halloween and you want to do a fun two-person costume. If you’re a white guy, hire an Oreo and go as George Lucas, Sting or Thomas Jefferson. If you’re an anglo tastic gal, you can be Heidi Klum, Idina Menzel or Elin Nordegren.
- You want people to flip through your facebook photos and think that you went somewhere exciting for the long weekend like New Orleans or a Raiders game…when really, you took a staycation in your jammies on the couch.
I am happy to send over a rate sheet if you’re interested. Reference are available upon request.
Any other Oreo stand in jobs I’m missing?
Oreo rentals are not to be confused with Rent-A-Negro, which offers slightly different services.