Dialing up the Dark

As has been mentioned before, sometimes it is necessary to tap into that which we are trying to avoid. Every now and then, screwing your courage to the sticking post and owning your ethnicity can get you out of a sticky situation. Letting people think that you are an RBP can really come in handy in the right situation. For example:

  • Letting that big bouncer think that you are equally as dismayed at the dearth of ethnics in line can totally let you skip ahead while you stand on line for Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.
  • Adding the right amount of scowl as you catch the eye of the dude at the kiosk at the mall will ensure that you are not hounded to change your cell phone service.
  • Whistle a little Soulja Boy as you walk past their table and you will not have to disappoint those Girl Scouts when you say that you don’t have cash handy to buy their cookies–because they won’t ask.    

    Stick to your diet with nothing more than a weary smile

  • Pretend to be finishing a conversation about the finer points of Malcolm X on your phone as you approach that sea salt scrub saleslady. She won’t give you a hard sell at all. Simply a smile and nod as you go on your way, your wallet unmolested. 

Remember, pretending to be an RBP can be a difficult and exhausting experience. Be sure to refuel yourself with a trip through Modcloth, some Glen Grant and a little Vampire Weekend.


  1. Hey now, you must not have come in contact with my girl scout troop. My girl’s do not discriminate when it comes to asking anyone if they want girl scout cookies. They’d accept food stamps if they would let them. We don’t care if your black, white , socioeconomically disadvantaged or just plain ugly. Every box counts. Whistle “Soulja Boy” all you want , but you know you can’t say no to those pigtails and pleading eyes 😉

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