I Wonder if There’s a Low-Calorie Margarine or Soy Substitute

butter-sizzingThe Urban Dictionary defines a “butter face” as a girl with a great body, but a less than desirable face. Ie. She is pretty, but for her face. 

This weekend, I was told about a time I was put into a similar category.

It was years ago and I was with a new group of friends at an old bar in Los Feliz. There was a guy there with whom I thought I hit it off. We talked all night, made tentative plans and exchanged information…and then I never heard from him again.

One of my girlfriends from that night told me this weekend that he told her that he thought I was nice, but that he just preferred blondes. Or Latinas. Or Asians. Basically, he had a melanin quotient and I surpassed it.

I became a “butter race.”

Oh, but if he could see me now. Hair freshly relaxed, riding pants freshly pressed, RSVP for a foxhunt in Bath to which I’ve been invited freshly sent. 

Though I hope he doesn’t mind sport hunting. I’d hate to become a butter chase.

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