Other Food-Based Nicknames

Oreo isn’t the only item in the grocery store useful for both consumption and labelling. Many food items give us the opportunity to better describe humanity.

654782643_386824c272Lettuce Heads – They appear lush and vibrant on the outside, but on the inside are really very bitter.

People who fit this description: Most artists, writers, comedians.

pineapple

Pineapples – Tough on the outside, yellow on the inside.

People who fit this description: Bullies of any ilk, be they schoolyard, fraternity or corporate.

kiwiKiwis – Fuzzy on the outside, green on the inside.

People who fit this description: Liberal activists who appear like a sweet stuffed animal, full of love for the less fortunate, but really very envious of those who made more lucrative career choices.

baloney-sandwich

Baloney Sandwich – White on the outside, pink on the inside.

People who fit this description: Communists…(those still exist, right, KCB?)

tamaleTamale – Corny on the outside, warm and wonderful on the inside.

People who fit this description: Those who know enough about BSG and Earth 2 to be nerds, little enough about complimentary colors to present as 5s, but enough about the impersonality of strangers to be a true and genuine friend.

vegetable_bell_pepper_plant

Bell Peppers – Lovely and vibrant on the outside, hollow on the inside.

People who fit this description: Male gym rats and beautiful women with daddy issues.

 

3758871268_f75973682cMilano – The Oreo’s opposite.

 

 

 

This is an inexhaustive list, so feel free to make suggestions. A little labelling goes a long way.

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4 comments

  1. You might want to disable WordPress’ “Possibly related posts” so I don’t have to, after reading your usual roundup of clever wordplays, learn about eating healthy on a budget from Babycenter.com.

    I’m trying to enjoy my satire, Babycenter, and all you want to talk about is being “Supermarket Savvy”.

    Chicken and waffles, please. Care to join me, OW?

  2. I wonder how many New Zealanders will complain that you just hijacked their fruit, as they are often referred to as kiwi’s. Fortunately, I think you can argue that many kiwis are also kiwis.

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