Oreo isn’t the only item in the grocery store useful for both consumption and labelling. Many food items give us the opportunity to better describe humanity.

Lettuce Heads – They appear lush and vibrant on the outside, but on the inside are really very bitter.

People who fit this description: Most artists, writers, comedians.

Pineapples – Tough on the outside, yellow on the inside.

People who fit this description: Bullies of any ilk, be they schoolyard, fraternity or corporate.

Kiwis – Fuzzy on the outside, green on the inside.

People who fit this description: Liberal activists who appear like a sweet stuffed animal, full of love for the less fortunate, but really very envious of those who made more lucrative career choices.

Baloney Sandwich – White on the outside, pink on the inside.

People who fit this description: Communists…(those still exist, right, KCB?)

Tamale – Corny on the outside, warm and wonderful on the inside.

People who fit this description: Those who know enough about BSG and Earth 2 to be nerds, little enough about complimentary colors to present as 5s, but enough about the impersonality of strangers to be a true and genuine friend.

Bell Peppers – Lovely and vibrant on the outside, hollow on the inside.

People who fit this description: Male gym rats and beautiful women with daddy issues.

 

Milano – The Oreo’s opposite.

 

 

 

This is an inexhaustive list, so feel free to make suggestions. A little labelling goes a long way.