But Closets are so Cozy

This week saw the defection of a powerful member of the ranks of self-hate. US. Army Lt. Dan Choi came out to his commanding officers and lost his place in the military.

Lt. Dan was an amazing example of how much you can hide when you put your mind to it. Not only is he gay, he’s also Asian (Now is that Gaysian or Gasian?). But linda-11listen on the radio and you have no idea of either. His voice holds no trace of ethnicity and his stories of his “girlfriend” Martha, kept everyone at bay.

Until now.

Now, thanks to Choi’s apparent need to break rank, he’s standing out, being noticed and losing things that would be important to anyone. Before barreling out of the closet, Choi had a good job, a spiffy uniform and no need to use odd and clunky phrases like “love relationship” as he has over and over again in all manner of press.

Sure keeping his secret would have probably caused internalized anger to gnaw endlessly on his health and well-being. And perhaps his boyfriend would have grown tired of being his dirty little secret, thus painfully ending their “love relationship.” And it’s not out of the question that “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is causing our military to lose troops at a time when we really need them. And maybe the policy unfairly benefits the majority who doesn’t want to have to deal with anything. But they are the majority–there’s more of them, which means they must be doing something right…right?

But all of that is a small price to pay for keeping things in tact and on track. Our country is in a recession and we’re embroiled in a couple of unwinnable wars. Do we really have the time or energy to tackle tough social issues? I think not. So keep on assimilating, kids. It’s good for the nation.


  1. As a member of the armed services I have recently come to look upon ‘gays in the military’ the same way I do protected speech; I believe that everyone that is otherwise determined ‘fit’ has the inalienable right to serve in uniform. However, what concerns me most is having a very small percentage begin driving the overarching DoD agenda. It is my belief (perhaps a false one) that a few minority groups exist that have — albeit relative and to scale — enormous sway over the media and entertainment outlets; for some reason wealth and power concentrate in these arenas. ANd why is that? Is it to drive the agenda? Certainly. Just my observations, opinion. That being said I believe that being openly gay in the military will ultimately become incidental to the true desire to concentrate power, resources, drive the agenda, pick the battles, stack the JCS, NSC, White House, etc. Tell me: faced with this possibility how should the other 95% of us respond?

  2. I take exception to anybody using a concept as simplistic and tired as “agenda”…
    To which one is the previous comment referring to? Is it the “Gay agenda”, used by gays to influence the courts to make all straight people homosexual? or perhaps it’s the “Jewish agenda” so the Jews will keep controlling the banks and the Media? or maybe it’s the “Feminist agenda” so, women will end up subjugating men in the workforce and in society at large? or could it be the “Liberal agenda”, the one that wants to make the United States the new Soviet Union??
    So many agendas, so little time…
    What are we, 8 year-olds? Reality is much more complex and has more nuances than that.
    There has been a lot to contend regarding equal standing and protection under the law when it comes to all Americans, including of course gay Americans and those who serve in the armed forces, it’s been a very long -and at times tortuous- process… Fortunately, progress has been made, intelligent discourse and the opening of hearts and minds are making a difference; however, when reading generalizations such as the ones expressed in the comment above, it’s painfully obvious that there’s still a long way to go…

  3. As a man who has been openly gay for 25 years, and has seen a lot of change in attitudes and perceptions, but very little change in laws and practices, let me wholeheartedly embrace the word ‘agenda’. Yes, I have an agenda. I pay taxes, abide by laws, support my community, and play an active role in the betterment of this city. My agenda is to have the rights everyone else does. The right to get married to the one I love, and the right to openly serve in the military, are things which I believe are worth fighting for. If these rights were taken from you, you would likely fight as well. I consider myself a patriot; Our nation was built upon a foundation of people fighting for their basic rights. I accept the fact that the loudest voice is the one that gets heard. The ‘squeaky wheel’ if you will. That’s reality… and for a long time, the loudest voice has been the religious right… and politicians who govern under their thumb… legislating the way I can and cannot live my life based on their own bible-based morals. So, If I have to out-yell them… out ‘agenda’ them… to get something done… than that’s what I’ll do. Sitting passively by for 25 years waiting for change didn’t do much good. When the policies of our government catch up with the general public opinion on this topic, then I will be able to sit back and stop yelling.

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