At Least 5 Reasons I Should Have a Small But Definitely On-Camera Role in the Downton Abbey Movie: An Open Letter to Julian Fellowes

 

My Dear Mr. Fellowes,

I was thrilled to bursting when I saw the news last week that Downton Abbey: The Movie will start shooting this year. I love this show. For six winters, my entire Sunday days were dedicated to prepping my home for our Downton Abbey viewing party. Sometimes this meant something as simple as popping a roast in the oven; sometimes, opera-length gloves were involved. My Monday days were spent discussing every detail of the show. And my Thursday days were spent shivering in the corner because it had been far too long since I had seen the Crawleys and I feared I never would again. 

Though I may just be another fan in the masses, I think we would be a great fit to work together. I have detailed my reasons why below and am open to any questions or clarifications you require.

1. I already own several corsets. Think how much money you’ll save in wardrobe by only having to dress 45 of your 46 extras for what will surely be a glorious holiday or wedding ball where I proudly walk through scene without weeping openly in joy and touching everything around me just to make sure it’s real!
2. You’ll look super woke. People love saying “woke” these days and they rarely get to say it about costume dramas like Downton or Tory peers like yourself. In fact, there’s much gnashing of teeth about how even though people of color were definitely hanging out in early 1900s society, they rarely get featured in films and shows about these eras. Think of all the awesome PR you’ll get just by having me walk through frame and definitely not smile directly into camera.
3. I watched Gosford Park about 45 times. With a running time of 2 hours and 17 minutes, I invested a lot of time in this work. I think it’s only fair that I cash in on that investment of that time that I could have spent with “family” or “friends” by spending a bit more time flying across the globe, motoring out to Highclere Castle, fannying about a green room, and then crossing through a scene definitely without embracing Anna Smith in the middle of a take.
4. I just used the phrase “fannying about” without batting an eye. I may have been born in Texas and now live in California, but I’m pretty much the most British of all my friends–even the British ones. And when I had my DNA tested, it turns out that a full 10% of me hails from slaveowners that came from Britain. It would mean the world to me to return to my homeland for the occasion of appearing, if only briefly, in a scene wherein I walk through the drawing room definitely without reciting every single one of the Dowager’s best one-liners while weeping happily.
5. I just spent a bunch of time crafting this new webseries, Black Girl in a Big Dress, which is, in part, a nod to my love of all things slightly old and very British. I mean, come on. 

 

I look most forward to receiving your reply.  

Sincerely,

The Oreo Experience

PS. I am actually quite excited about this new project, BLACK GIRL IN A BIG DRESS! And hope that everyone reading will take a look! It’s been a labor of love for the last half year and I can’t wait for everyone to see the whole thing. Find us on twitter @BlkGirlBigDress and Facebook.com/blackgirlinabigdress
PPS. I can’t promise that I’m not wearing that giant dress right now.

PPPS: Next Week on The Oreo Experience: At Least 5 Things I am Willing to do to be a Part of the Downton Abbey Movie.

 

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What’s your favorite costume drama (okay, or favorite “regular TV show”) and why should you have a role in its next installment? Let us know in the comments and let’s get you on camera! 

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For Mor-eo Oreo and to find out more about Black Girl in a Big Dress:

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