Let’s Rethink This

Look, everyone, I know, it’s tempting.

You see a grown man putting his knees into a nearly naked child’s back or a fully adult human putting pepper spray into a child’s mouth, and you want to be like, “hey, that’s kinda fucked up.”

Resist that thought.

C'mon, you can do it

C’mon, you can do it

 

I know you can do it.

I know you can do it.

You might think “hey, I was camp counselor slash RA once when I was but a teenager and I broke up fights and got people out of restricted areas without putting them in handcuffs.”

Resist that thought.

You might think, “you know what, teenagers shouldn’t talk back to adults, that’s rude. But they are teenagers and the punishment for being mouthy might be to say…take their phone away for a day, not give them bruises on their spine or a police record for life.”

Resist that thought.

This is not the time to think about things like systemic injustice or the unnecessary militarization of our police forces or how British police don’t even have guns and they aren’t all dead. This is not the time to think about how “things” should change.

This is the time to think about how you can change.

This is the time to RE-BRAND.

BoIna

Yes! It’s true!

When something goes wrong at a company, they don’t fold, they get a new logo and start again like nothing’s wrong.

You’d think that with the country’s obsession with battling obesity, that Super Size Me antagonist McDonald’s would have gone the way of the dodo. But nope. They stuck some salads on their menu and brand themselves as a healthy dining option.

Microsoft got themselves some fancy looking versions of Apple Stores. Southwest Airlines got that stupid on-the-nose picture of an airplane off their logo. Monster got that fun flowy flag. Even Target managed to give itself a good old-fashioned frenzied stampede when it proved it could be a go-to place for high (?) fashion with its Lily Pulitzer line.

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And that’s what we need to do with police violence…I’m sorry with police Moments.

Sure, on the surface, it looks like adults are beating up on kids. But you know what, hipsters pay good money for older adults to put bruises on their body. It’s called Thai Massage.

And speaking of spicy food. It’s not pepper spray so much as it is a free sample from Hoy-Ka Noodle House. Yum-o!

See, doesn’t that feel better? Thinking about unnecessary force against clearly unarmed people in these new terms is almost as comforting as getting stretched out by Intira Juntasa at Wilsire Aroma Spa. So take your tragedy of choice, put a spin on it and let’s get back to smiling.

 

How might you apply this logic to other terrible things that are happening around you? Let us know in the comments!

 

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9 comments

  1. There was a time when I would have been an enthusiastic supporter of an idea like this. The world seems so crazy to me. We, as a society, are so determined to tear ourselves apart, I say to hell with it. Let’s not delay the crashing and burning, let’s get it over with and hope something better rises from the ashes.

  2. I like your way of thinking. From now on, whenever I get pulled over for Driving While Black, I’ll look at it as a preemptive car inspection. If the police can’t find a legitimate reason to give me a ticket, like the light on my license plate not being bright enough (It happens to everyone… right?), then I know I’ll pass my annual car inspection. Last year when I got stopped five times in six weeks without getting a ticket, it let me know my car was in tip top shape.

  3. A few days ago I was pulled over again. I got the full treatment with flashing lights and siren too. After looking at my license and seeing my daughter terrified in the back seat, he said that I should know my license plate sticker was ready to expire. But since he didn’t point to any violations, I know my car is ready to pass inspection again. Hey, the system is still working!

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