Late Night Safety Lesson

I was out last night and had one of those experiences where you think: “Ohhhh, this is why I shouldn’t traipse around places at night by myself without a whistle or gun or something.”

Or maybe my own personal Adjustment Bureau

I was just walking and these four kids with their hats the the back and their baggy pants and swagger and teardrop tattoos and graffiti they were spraying on rocks came walking towards me. I’m pretty athletic, so I thought I could take them in a pinch. But I also thought: “This is why I came on a hike tonight. I did not come to the top of Mount Hollywood to run into people, much less thuggy people. There is a pretty sheer drop off, if they wanted to, I could never be found again.”

Moustache tattoos: Still says "grown up" but in a less murdery way.

Then I thought…wait, why are these kids on a hike? And I imagined their conversation  having gone something like this…

KID 1: Yo, what’re we gon’ do today?

KID2: I don’t know dude, tag that liquor store?

KID3: Sell some fake IDs?

KID4: Uhh, maybe visit some endangered species in their natural habitats and see if there’s anything the collective can do to make the environment a little better for everyone?

KID1: Yo! Who said that? That shit about nature. Special K, was that you?

KID4: Whatever, man.

KID1: Cuz I like the way you think. I just got a new Nalgene bottle and needed a place to use it!

KID2: Dude! Did you got to REI? Man you shoulda brought me, I got a Groupon for that shit!

And then I laughed. Out loud. While I was walking by myself. And wondered that in that moment, with me throwing my head back and grinning at no one, which one of us a third party would rather avoid. I kinda think it’s a tie.


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  1. Oh I’ve done that too, laughed out loud at something I thought of. Crazy white girl laughing to herself in public. This is why I like having my ipod, I can pretend that I’m laughing at something I’m listening to. 😀

  2. living in an area with pretty much 7 black people, I never really see any black youth these days. Tho I guess from the perspective of the others around I am the scary black youth… I have already been stopped like 3 times by police while walking. I often think to myself “What is it about young black guys, that send up the danger, danger signal?” There seems to be this thought out there, that young black guys either don’t fear or expect punishment for crimes. Now obviously that can be said for any sociopath of any race. But people often act as if that type of mental defect comes standard with the average ‘urban’ youth… personally I blame black people themselves 🙂 we tend to push the more negative fantasy side of our culture in films and tv because it is interesting and the truth about who we really are tends to be “dull” I mean would you rather pay to see me posting a response on this blog, or robbing a bank (all gangsta like)… but alas we put out the product that America buys. I mean its not like other cultures represent themselves any better in medis, (Jersey Shore). but we can’t let the media mess with our heads. At least “Queen Oreo” here didnt freak out and start randomly shooting mace at the guys 🙂 that’s progress

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