Diary of a Mad White Black Woman – What’s Up With All the Black People?!

Dear Diary,

When I choose my weekend events, I do so with a purpose! Whether it’s a dinner party based on Myers-Briggs Personality Typing or a trip to Medieval Times, I expect to be the only person of color in attendance. Maybe one of two or three. But I certainly don’t expect to blend into the crowd due to the fact that the crowd looks like me!!

This is how I normally do it. Can you find me??

 

Imagine my shock and consternation this weekend, then.

It started with my weekly riding lesson. This time I was on a new horse named Calvin–a beautiful red rome who looked like he galloped out of a fairy tale and into my cross-ties. As per usual, I was the only one of me at the barn.

That all changed when I walked across the street to the Equestrian Center. There was a rodeo going on and though I prefer English riding to Western, Western is still pretty impressive, so I sat down and that’s when I saw it.

The stands…the arena…the holding areas…all full of black cowboys!! It wasn’t the shadow cast by the hundreds of Stetson hats over faces that made those faces look dark. It was the pigment! To my left, black riders. To my right, black riders. On the microphone a black announcer announcing more black riders.

The black I usually see at horse events.

Normally when I’m around this many black folks, I’ve gotten lost on the campus of an HBCU, am at Roscoes or have wandered into a check cashing place.

I didn’t know what to do. I knew I should run, but I wanted to see the horses, so I sat and assured myself that the trip to the spa I was taking later that afternoon would right the balance of black in my life.

It didn’t.

A bit flustered from my day at the rodeo and from the fact that the parking structure I had to use looked like something that Theseus would have to solve, I tumbled into the lobby of the spa, expecting to see …well, not so many black people.

The lobby looked like a Southern Baptist convention. Behind the desk, in front of the desk, tons of black people!

Diary, I did not cultivate a love of all things anglo and deny myself listening to Miles Davis as a kid so that I would just end up surrounded by RBP at a moment’s notice!

I was too shocked to sound any of the Oreo distress calls, so I couldn’t even ascertain if these people were friendlies.

Luckily, the lights were dimmed, so it was just as matter of moments before I couldn’t really see anyone else anyway.

Thank goodness the deep tissue massage was extra deep to flush out the additional stress.

You would think this was where my crazy dark day would end. But no! Fate had even more in store!

I made dinner plans with a friend and while I was waiting for him at the bar, a guy began chatting me up. He asked me lots of polite questions about myself and gave me his card…. And he was black

WHAT THE FU–!?! Diary, I spend a lot of money and time straightening my hair and wiping the ethnicity from my voice. Why such a fluke of a day?

I will meditate on this while playing my flute and enjoying some apple, pear and beet salad. And hope that tomorrow goes better.

 

The rodeo did have mutton-busting, which looks like this (only with a tiny black kid instead). So that was...fun.

 

 

-OW

How do you solve a bad day? Let us know in the comments!

What happens when you find yourself surrounded? Read here to find out!

Even when they are friendlies, don’t get too cozy. Read here to find out how to protect yourself!

Why do I not generally accept business cards from black guys. Watch this video to see!

****

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7 comments

  1. I don’t know, it sounds a lot like you just struck a rich vein of Oreo is all. Maybe Oreos are reaching critical mass? 😀

    1. Have you considered calling the black guy up? It would be a great story to add to your collection to see how that episode goes!!!

  2. You could be starting a whole revolution of Oreos. RBP could be realizing the allure of British movies, and dressage. And if that happens you will become surrounded by Regular Oreo People.

  3. eeewww! I hate when RBP’s start chatting me up! I dream of an Oreo guy! Was this one who gave you the card an RBP or Oreo? May I have his card if the latter? 😉

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