With Halloween just a few days away, it’s time for all good Oreos to decide what their costume will be. Here are some suggestions to make you a hit at your Halloween Party.

Sexy Sally Hemings: For those of you not up on your slave rape history, Sally Hemmings was the alleged secret, passionate lover of President Thomas Jefferson. In truth, Jefferson told Hemings that he would free her children after she died if she agreed to subject herself to him for the rest of her life.

Good things the folks at USA didn’t put those icky details into the miniseries they dreamed up. That would have made everyone super uncomfortable. Sport some rags and liquid-latex-created whip marks for good measure and folks will enjoy that you can laugh at history’s little gaffes. 

Plus, you can use costume shackles for some after party fun!

Sexy NASCAR fan. Show your support for the south with something taudry that toasts something that thousands of people enjoy. Some Daisy Dukes,blonde wig and stars and bars shirt should do it for the ladies. Gents, try some overalls, inexpensive beer and your Sons of Confederate Veterans card.

Sexy Whitcon. Any number of white icons are available for you to dress up as. Choose someone who evokes nothing but a feeling that they belong to the majority and you’ll be a hit. People will appreciate that you love Marilyn Monroe, The Queen Mum or any John Hughes character as much as they do.

This will cause them to look way past your melanin indulgence and talk to you about how great the 50s were, how fantastic England is or how much teen angst comes with being slightly privileged. You will be loved for allowing this emotional vetting to occur.

Any of these characters.

So that people can tongue in cheek call you a spook, coon or Ace of Spades. They can truthfully say it’s all in good fun, and it’s all for a cause. C’mon, it’s just one night. You can take it.