Oreola (or-ee-ohl-uh) – n. The area around an Oreo. A small, specialized location that many are drawn to for its ability to lighten one’s mood and provide safety and comfort.
The Oreo itself may be dark, but the area around it is filled with the whitness radiating from within
(thanks, CM)
White Lie – (n) A minor, polite or harmless fib necessary to conceal a small lack of intimate knowledge of the preferred society. For example, an Oreo saying that s/he enjoyed the “performance” at Belcourt Castle instead of regaling listeners with details of the Dracula Ballet.
Blacklist – 1) noun – a list of former Oreos who have lost their standing in the Oreo community and are to be punished, boycotted and left of the Regatta invitation list. 2) verb – the act of putting an Oreo on a blacklist.
Minoritease – noun – a) any act committed by a person of color feigning interest in the Oreo lifestyle. For example, Sean Combs hosting a “white party.” b) Any act committed by an Oreo with the intent to gain safe passage or other favor with members of the of color community.
Lightening Storm – Any sudden flurry of activities that pushes the Oreo closer to their personal anglo-tastic goals. For example, a breakfast frittata followed by sailing lessons, shopping at REI, and watching Nova before attending a Mannheim Steamroller concert.
TPSD – Acronym that stands for “Tyler Perry Stress Disorder” and describes the condition that occurs when an Oreo is exposed to certain ethnic programming. Like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), TPSD can cause sleeplessness, depression and an inability to experience positive feelings such as love or happiness.
Any speech given by an Oreo that includes subjects such as kayaking, Flemmish, cat shows or graduate degrees. Basically, any set of spoken words that describes events, happenings or habits that an RBP would have little to no knowledge of.
RBP – Acronym that stands for “regular black person/people,” as in the other of colors that Oreos must limit contact with. While RBP may be fine on their own, en masse, they send the wrong idea to the world about the company we keep.
*Shameless Oreo Plug. 1) SmartyPig is a totally cool $-savings tool! I highly recommend it. b) So I have the opportunity to meet with an actor who I love love love in the UK this summer. Trying to make it a successful working holiday and take some other Brit talent out for a pint with the hope of writing for them one day. Should anyone feel inclined to help an Oreo purchase one of those pints, it would be totes appreciated. You can learn more about my trip, and SmartyPig at this link.
Whoreo (hoar-ee-oh) – The Oreo who, like a desperate intern or struggling actress, tries to sleep his or her way to the top of the Oreo chain by simply seducing the fairer folks. When whoreoing doesn’t work, it’s time to find a Plan B.
Blanche-tourage (blahnch-too-rahzh): The necessary group of white people an Oreo surrounds her/himself with to maintain culture, perspective and quiche recipes.
Want moar definitions? Click here to learn how to tell if your Oreola is showing, how to get away with a White Lie and how to avoid ending up on the Blacklist.
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